Saturday, May 31, 2008

While you weren't paying attention

A more cynical man than I would point out that the Boston Red Sox are somehow above reproach in New England - especially in regards to the much criticized Celtics (who somehow, despite making the NBA Finals are clearly fraudulent - yeah, sure), the criminally inept Bruins (no argument here) and the vaguely sinister facists who run the New England Patriots. If you want to buy into any conspiracy theories involving the Monolith of Fenway Park, consider that the Sox managed to bury their most incompetent stretch of the season during the Celtic's run to the NBA Finals against the Pistons. Yes, while we were all worrying about Ray Allen's sudden disappearance, whether or not KG is "clutch" and Sam Cassel's return to the Mothership, the Red Sox were getting swept by the Oakland A's, and losing 2 of 3 to the hapless Seattle Mariners. Fortunately for the Red Sox, these were all West Coast teams, and the games all ended at one in the morning. Since most of us have to work for a living, nobody figured out the Sox had lost until the next day. Thus, the worst stretch of the season passes by largely unnoticed. Convenient, eh?
Hopefully, now that the Sox are in Baltimore, the Sox can wake up and build off the 13 inning marathon win(obscured by the death of the Pistons). They have our undivided attention. At least until Thursday night, right?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Five games in...

...and we still know NOTHING about who the eventual champions of the Eastern Conference will be. As I feared, this series is doomed to go 7 games. My original thought was that the Celtics would win all their home games, and the Pistons would win all their road games. That hasn't happened, but the Celtics are yet again going into a Game Six up 3-2. And just as before, I have little or no confidence that they will win. Even thought they did win a road game - finally - they Pistons just refuse to go away. With the exception of Game Three, none of the Celtics wins have been anything close to comfortable. And the kicker is, if the Celtics do advance, they'll be facing an even tougher opponent.

Many moons ago, ESPN columnist Bill Simmons referred to the Ranger's 1994 Stanley Cup Championship year as being as painful as childbirth. He also predicted that should the Red Sox ever win the World Series, the games would be just as long, drawn out and dramatic. Aside from the excruciating ALCS, he was wrong.

Maybe he really should have been talking about the Celtics instead. Watching these games has been torturous. I'm glad the C's are in the picture, but I'm not sure I can survive another Game Seven.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Can't say it better myself

Awesome summation here of why is one of my favorite websites.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The longest road...

Whether you think the Celtics can beat the Pistons, or you think they're screwed due to their utter inability to win on the road, one thing is almost certain.

This series is going 7 games whether we like it or not.

God help us all.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Somebody Break Their Keyboards Part IV: The Quickening

Including my own irritable rant yesterday, there's been a lot of venom spewed on blogs and message boards all across the internet. But there's a new enemy of all that is decent and reasonable: the comments section.

Yes, whenever someone writes an online column or blog entry, there's usually a few people (unless it's MY blog for some reason) willing to add a comment or two. Sometimes , the comments are useful and intelligent (again, my blog). Most of the time, they're completely insane.

The worst offenders are ESPN and You Tube. I dare you find a single comment section on You Tube that does not include a F bomb, an ad hominem attack, or a misspelled word. ESPN is just as bad, except the spelling is marginally better. The comments on Spygate have been particularly insane, leading directly to my latest rant. Honestly, are there really that many stupid, illiterate, and hostile people in this country?

Yes, yes there are. And lest you think this is mostly an attack on people outside of New England (ie, the Pats haters I went off on yesterday), there are just as many tools in the Northeast. Check out the comment section on the Boston Herald. In any political discussion, you'll find a bunch of people who best exemplify the lowest common denominator that infests WEEI and WRKO: nitwits who think they're Howie Carr. I already went off on Howie for his repetitive column. I could have just as easily gone off on him for producing a seemingly endless array of whiny, racist, homophobic, misogynistic paltroons who infest the Boston Herald website and make the comment section unintentionally hysterical. I don't know if they're mocking Howie or agreeing with him, but they come across as morons.

Sadly, I can also say the same thing about my favorite sports site on the internet: the Boston Sports Media Watch. I enjoy the columns and blog entries on this site immensely because they share my view of WEEI, the Globe, Herald, and NESN. What I do find distressing is the amount of idiocy that makes it's way on that website anyways. It's particularly sad to see any article about a female reporter degenerate into a discussion about T & A, which is exactly the type of frat boy nonsense the website seems to be against.

The comments section in any website are basically anonymous, giving someone the opportunity to spew whatever idiocy they feel like. I don't think it adds much to any discussion, and thus I would like to clone Charlie Chaplin about 10 million times and have him destroy the computers of anyone who choses to use a comment section as a way of displaying what kind of a pathetic human being they really are.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wasted time

I'd like to thank Matt Walsh, Arlen Spector and ESPN for wasting EVERYONE'S time with their inability to let go of the Spygate thing. The Patriots got caught taping signals, were summarily punished and for some reason, that wasn't enough for anyone. No, for some reason, the anti-Patriot contingent on the ESPN comments sections had to get their way, and the media - feeding this extreme form of lunacy, gave them ammunition by producing ex-Patriots "scout" Matt Walsh who claimed to have tapes of the Pats doing naughty things. Well he did, but they all seemed to be tapes from 2001-2002 where this practice was - if not accepted - then at the very least not widely enforced. So basically, we had to sit though 9 months of this "conspiracy" theory nonsense to get a payoff of ...

drum roll please...

absolutely NOTHING.

Do you mean to tell me that in the past 9 months, nothing in the sports world or even the world outside of sports (cue Mr Spector) has happened that would be considered more important that whether or the Patriot were taping signals? Honestly? And is taping signals even cheating when you consider that hiring a guy to sit in the binoculars and basically do the same thing is somehow perfectly legal? Really? Can anyone really explain to me the difference?

One would think - logically - that a chain of events where the Patriots "cheated" (kind of) were caught, punished and lost the Super Bowl would be enough for a rational, intelligent populace. But no, now we have people who want forfeits and astericks. What really needs to happen is the American public needs to come to terms with their immature concept of revenge and perhaps elect a Pennsylvania senator with some sense of perspective - one that doesn't hold congressional hearings on steriods in Major League Baseball or waste everyone's time by having a public temper tantrum based on hearsay and events that happened in September.

"Gee, the economy is in the tank, we're stuck in a horrific situation in the middle east, people are getting evicted left and right and the oil companies are soaking us for billions. I know, let's distract people by holding a pity party over the Eagles losing the Super Bowl."

Unbelievable. Oh wait, W is our president. American Idol. The continued existence of MTV. This is now completely believable.

End of rant.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Two games into Celtics/Cavs...

... and we've learned NOTHING about these two teams aside from the fact that no one on the Celtics can guard Ilgauskas - and that it doesn't matter because the Cavs will forget about him halfway through the game anyways.

In my last entry, I complained that people made idiotic assumptions about the Celtics based on the last series with Atlanta. Well, now the idiocy will continue because people will make one of two silly assumptions:

A. The Cavs are finished.
B. The Celtics will lose the next two games.

Neither one is a rational assumption.
To assume that Cavs are dead just because the C's "shut down" Lebron is moronic, especially in light of the last series with Atlanta. The Hawks weren't finished when they went down 2-0 and Cleveland is a much better team. Also, since "shutting down" Lebron apparently means he doesn't get a triple double with 30 plus points, that's not much of a "shut down". Containing is a more accurate description. And let's be fair, the Celtics can not defend those mid range jumpers that Ilgauskas can hit in his sleep. The Cavs haven't been going to him that frequently (which, as Charles Barkley pointed out, is insane) but I can see the big man going off on the C's in a tight game. I expect the Cavs to win at least one of the games in Cleveland. They'll have the home court advantage, a partisan crowd (and some "home cooking" from the officials) and you can only "contain" Lebron for so long.

I also think it's dumb to expect the C's to lose the next two game. As I said last time, the C's will not have an identical experience in this round to the one they had at Atlanta. If they lose the next two - and I don't think they will - there's no guarantee that they win game five. Likewise, I don't think the Cavs will be able to exploit the Celtics in the identical way the Hawks did.

It's cute to use past performances to determine future results. But this is sports and things do indeed change.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Stupid things I keep hearing about the Celtics

Ever since the Atlanta Hawks won game 3 against the Boston Celtics, the idiots have really come out of the woodworks. The following is a small sampling of the utter drivel we've been subjected to from WEEI, the Herald, the Globe, ESPN and even random conversations I keep hearing at the gym:

1. All the Celtics have to do is win all of their home games and they'll be fine: This is probably NOT going to happen. Yes, the Celtics are the best team in the NBA in the regular season which won them home court throughout the playoffs, but it defies all logic to think that the Celtics are somehow going to go 16-0. Given the horrific nature of NBA officiating, the C's are bound to get hosed in at least one of those (potential) 16 games. Add a bad call to a close game, and you can very easily lose.

2. The Celtics were exposed by the Hawks. They can't win: Wrong again. Just because Atlanta exploited some favorable match-ups, doesn't mean that Cleveland will be able to do the same. The Hawks are a different team than the the Cavs and they have different strengths and weaknesses. It doesn't mean that the Cav's are an easier opponent, but the odds of this series going exactly the way the last one did are remote.

3. Kevin Garnett sucks: This is so idiotic it doesn't deserve comment.

4. The C's weakness is their bench: Another gem. Posey, House, Tony Allen, and Powe have all been very pleasant surprises this year and they do have veteran leadership in PJ Brown and Sam Cassell. This was actually a STRENGTH for the team this year and is further proof that Doc Rivers is the luckiest human being on the planet. Is it better than Cleveland's bench? That remains to be seen.

5. The refs are out to get the Celtics: The NBA is by far - BY FAR - the worst officiated of the four major sports. The refs aren't out to get anyone. They just miss a lot of calls and fall for a LOT of flopping. Both teams have to deal with inconsistencies. The Celtics just had to deal with more against the Hawks.

6. Paul Pierce is secretly a member of the Bloods/Crips: Another great one. One hand signal and he's the next 50 Cent? I'm not sure if this is closet racism or paranoia, but you'd think that once you started making upwards of a million dollars a year, your participation in drive-bys would cease, right?

7. The Celtics are going to lose because Lebron James will score 40 points a night: He might very well do this, but if the C's can shut down everyone else, they might win anyways.

8. The C's are going to win because they're going to shut down Lebron James: I don't know if this is even possible.

9. People care about Gerry Callahan's political views and/or golf game: Sorry, I couldn't resist.

10. The series with the Hawks proves that the Celtics will/won't win the NBA title: We have a long way to go before we can say these things. All the series with Atlanta proved is that the Celtics aren't as good as the media thought they were and the Hawks were much better than people game them credit for.

Friday, May 2, 2008

I win!

So, according to my peers, I am the biggest poser on USCHO. I will grant you that the term is typically insulting, but amongst my fellow college hockey geeks, I'm not so sure that it is totally a depreciating comment.

I am not sure if this is an honor or the opposite of an honor. No one has told me if this means people hate me or like me. That is because nobody actually knows. In fact, many have stated they were disappointed that I made it that far because I'm not that much of a poser. Or maybe they just don't want to hurt my feelings. The one thing that is clear is that I spend way too much time on that message board.

But does it really it matter? An award is an award, and from now on, I consider myself the Grand High Wanker of 2008.

On the other hand, the WCHA Whining Blog still doesn't have a champion. I did suggest we vote for UNH fans, but I have a better idea.

I should be the WCHA Whiner of the Year. I'm good at winning dubious honors all of a sudden, so why not? Granted, I don't even root for a team in the WCHA, but why not Jon?
Why not Jon?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Eddie Izzard for president!

I've come to the conclusion that none of the three remaining candidates should be president. No instead, our new president should be British comedian Eddie Izzard. Here are my reasons:

-Can speak multiple languages. And in many cases, he can speak them sounding like James Mason or Sean Connery.
-Can identify with women largely because he's an "action" transvestite.
-Understands that yes, "Badgers can be choosers".
-Cake or Death platform opens the American public up to a new realm of deliciousness.
-Wants to bring people together because that would be groovy.
-Would ban violence in the Death Star cantina involving trays.
-Knows pain: he was once beaten up because his name is not Tracy (but in a fun way!) and had losing his virginity vetoed.
-Invented a helicopter that goes underwater (that does not work).
-Argued with a French language lab.
-Already smarter than our current president. If only because of late night TV and Wikipedia.
-Revealed to us the scam that cats have been using on us for too long. They aren't purring, they're drilling!

There are many more reasons, but clearly Mr Izzard is the man for America.