Thoughts from Beyond the Grave!

-Wow, 4 months between posts? I suck at blogging. This is why I don't Twitter although I can't imagine I would be any more active.

-Never have I looked forward to a hockey season less. Although I suppose PC will exceed expectations as they do every year they're supposed to finish in dead last place.

-Am I wuss for almost crying at Tedy Bruschi's retirement? Oh well.

-The demise of WBCN was tragic, but 98.5 has been a pleasant surprise, mostly because Felger/Mazz isn't a colossal mess. Toucher and Rich is Toucher and Rich, but Kadolfo really needs to find the Chili Guy. The entire show is being carried by Fred making fun of Gary Tanguay. Buffy!

-Texas never seems to lose, but the Red Sox keep gaining ground. Not sure how this is happening either.

-Stupid WEEI never took my advice about the Whiner Line. Giving an award to the Man on the Way up? Reprehensible.

-"Hello, Control." "Hello, Tony."

-Words of Wisdom: "Eating kittens is just - just plain WRONG. And no one should do it! Ever!" - The Tick

-Hi, Mark!

Afternoons in Waltham: Jon's radio adventures part II

So, my mornings on the radio have been mapped out. What of my afternoons?

"Attitude Adjustment Hour" (WZLX): I'm a sucker for classic rock. But not all of it; much like the Dude, I have no tolerance for the Eagles. But if you wait until 7, they play a block of Zepplin.
Versus Jon's Radio: Usually the radio wins. Especially if it's TULL!

"Big Jim" (WFNX): According to the guys on the Sandbox, he's a wookie! Chewie ruled.
Versus Jon's Radio: It depends. There's only so many times the human psyche can handle The Foo Fighters in the course of one hour. And I like the Foo Fighters. In fact, one of their CDs is in my car...

"All Things Considered" (NPR): Like a warm comfortable pair of shoes. Again.
Versus Jon's Radio: The CD player. I'm all newsed out by the time I get out of bed in the morning.

"the Big Show" (WEEI): Tolerable for about half the program, until the idiot callers start calling on the same subject. Over and over again. And then the hosts started talking at the same time. There are more professional offerings on public access.
Versus Jon's Radio: Okay half the time. But the Whiner Line is useless and the "outrage de jour" format can get tiresome.

"The Pink Hamster review" (WRKO): What sadist put Red Sox games on this station? No one who uses the word "moonbat" more than once should be taken seriously. So I don't.
Versus Jon's Radio: My CD player. Liberals suck and public servants are hacks. We get it. Move on.

"Whoever is filling in for Felger" (ESPN): You know what? I heard great things about this show in comparison to "the Big Show". I turned it on one day and it sounded like a more sedate version of "the Big Show". And now Felger is gone. Meh.
Versus Jon's Radio: CD player.

"Mistress Carey" (WAAF): I have no problem with Carey, at least in comparison to the aural train wreck that is Hillman. However, every time I turn on this station it's Nu-Metal. How in Hades did we go from Sabbath, Priest, Maiden, the Big Four of Thrash, GWAR (HAH!), and Pantera to THIS? At least Creed is loooonnnnnggg gone.
Versus Jon's Radio: CD player, usually. But it is funny to hear them play Bob Marley now. Awesome.

"Toucher and Rich" (WBCRadioN): This is the show that brought us the Gunner, Dating on Demand, Burger King Cheryl, Adolfo, and of course, Jojo Weiss aka Jojo Hennigan aka the Whopper the Whopper the Whopper Big Cheese Sandwich. And they play music.
Versus Jon's Radio: The radio. But it should be noted that the wacky shock jock schtick can get tiresome and if FNX overplays the Foo Fighters, WBCN overplays the Chili Peppers. That's much worse.

"Mike and the Mad Dog" (WFAN): Sadly, no longer with us. Sigh.
Versus Jon's Radio: CD player, because I can't get this show in Waltham. And now I really can't get it.

I have these great ideas, you see...

I have these wonderful ideas for a blog, but I'm probably not going to do them. With college hockey season ending, I need to expand my focus. There won't be a lot of news about PC until the schedule gets announced. Following the Frozen Four, there won't be lot of college hockey to talk about at all. So, that leaves other sports, and I feel like I've already covered that.

Here are a list of topics, I'd like to cover in my blog in the near future - while I'm waiting for the NBA/NHL playoffs and for the Red Sox to start playing "important games" (who the HELL cares what the team looks like in April or May?!?!?).

Spygate! I'm so sick of Spygate that I could vomit chess pieces. People keep "hinting" that they have dirt on the Patriots and ESPN keeps following along like a pack of golden retrievers with learning disabilities. So far, we have seen NOTHING concrete aside from the the tapes that Roger Goodell destroyed. And the reason the NFL destroyed the tapes is because he didn't want them being leaked the press. The press won't let this go because of two reasons:

1. They hate the Patriots, probably because the Pats aren't as cool, exciting, (or as cocaine addled) as the Dallas Cowboys. When did hating someone become an actual newsworthy event? My blog isn't fantastic, but it would be twenty times worse if I spent all my time berating the Lakers, Canandiens, Yankees, Rangers FC, BU or any other team I was pissed off at. Maybe I'm missing this and I should just start a "I hate Duke" page and bond with every UNC hoops fan in the country. Yee haw!

2. Sports journalism is about nine times more boring than you think. Why else would Bill Simmons spend any amount of time comparing the coaching staff of the Sacramento Kings to a minor character from "Karate Kid II"? Oooh, Barry Bonds used steriods? You don't say?

I grow weary of hearing "Where there's smoke,there's fire" when no one can actually point out that there is indeed smoke.

Cheesy Rock Three Way Dance: I might actually do this one. Who is more cheesy?
Journey?
Styxx?
Foreigner?

Come on, don't you want to know if "Don't Stop Believing" is really sillier than "Come Sail Away" or "Hot Blooded"? I feel like I would have to reference the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" episode where the Mooninites stole the Foreigner belt and Carl had to defend Loverboy.

Why I no longer follow professional wrestling: I know someone will make fun of me for this, but I used to like wrestling. I liked it during the Hulk Hogan era of the WWF. I liked it during the revival of the late nineties with WCW, WWF, and ECW - the one with Goldberg, Stone Cold, the Rock, HHH, and Chris Jericho. And I came back briefly when Vince McMahon resurrected ECW. But now I don't like it because it's stupid and Jenny makes fun of me when I watch it. Actually, maybe I don't need to expound on this topic...

I give up, here's random Chili Guy quotes:
"Can't go back to Dedham Supreme nevah who I am!"
"Oh I see, again with the gift cards! Whatever happened to signings, do the right thing, and family problems?"
"Ya gotta take the money, Kadolpho!"
"Point blank, I'm never slow. Point blank, he's a little slow."
"David Ortiz can't carry this Buffalo Bills franchise."
"If I asked you for 13 million eights - 13 million billion eights, do think you could get that to finance this deal?"
"OJ, I never heard of no OJ, but if you want the real Mark Furman, I'll tell you who the f----ing guy is, right here!"
"The Vatican is the big guy today."
"We're looking at a conference in the city of Boston or the state of Massachusetts on RACKETEERING charges!"

Ghost Hunters: Why don't they ever find a ghost? I mean, wouldn't they get lucky eventually?

WEEI vs Jon

So, I'm sitting in the back seat of my buddy's SUV this morning at about 2AM when the conversation turns to WEEI - mostly in an attempt to keep ourselves awake. I'm not going to name names, but one of the people in the SUV works in the local sports media so he had all sorts of fun stories to tell about our local "celebrities". Suffice to say, he had very few positive things to say about WEEI. For those of you who do not live in the Boston area, WEEI is the top sports radio station in the area. They also carry the Celtics games, Boston College basketball and football and the occasional Red Sox game during the season.

When i was young, I enjoyed WEEI immensely. The station carried to the Red Sox games and if I'm not mistaken, they carried the Bruins as well. The shows were entertaining and the hosts had the ability to talk about sports in general. At some point, while I was in college, this changed.

When I graduated from PC, WEEI suddenly lost the ability to discuss the Bruins and Celtics. Of course, both of those teams were horrible so this kind of made sense. Unfortunately, this became a permanent feature of the station. The next thing to go was college sports. The station carries - and continues to carry - live broadcasts of college athletics, but don't even try to discuss those sports on the air. This ability apparently ended when Ted Serandis was booted from the 7PM to midnight shift. Ted wasn't popular guy on the station but at least he gave college athletics a fair shake. He lost points by being a shill for BC basketball and being good pals with Tim Welsh (for some reason) but he could at least discuss them.

But the real problem with WEEI is politics. I have no idea why WEEI decided that they had to emulate WRKO, their sister station. WRKO is one of those useless right wing talk stations that actually managed to find an equally moronic and unlistenable left wing host to "anchor" their morning shift. Add in the completely irrelevant Rush Limbaugh and the agonizing repetitive shtick of Howie Carr and you have Jon kryptonite. Well apparently, WEEI decided that this crap was such ratings gold that they exported it to WEEI. Now, while we're hearing about Spring Training and Kevin Garnett and the weekly interview with Tom Brady, we're also deluged by lame right wing ranting. Great.

The callers actually seem to be getting worse. First off, they seem unable to call BS on any of the silly political/sports crap they hosts are spewing. Secondly, the cult of the "signature caller" has resulted in an influx of nimrods who get on the air every day and add NOTHING to the conversation. And last of all, I point to the existence of "the whiner line". Ugh.

So let's recap: no hockey, politics, and a sea of jackanapes waiting on hold. Gee, sign me up. The fact that this crap was unlistenable during the Red Sox run to the World Series AND the Patriots abortive run at a perfect season AND the Celtic's new found competence is absolutely tragic.

Here are my alternatives to irritating sports talk radio:

-NPR: Yes, I am a public radio geek. I draw the line at "Prairie Home Companion", but I love "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me," "Car Talk," "Sez You," and whatever jazz or blues program they have at night. I can't stand the endless pledge drives, but that's a small price to pay. And I'll argue against NPR being a haven for left wing propaganda until the day I die.

-WFAN: For some reason, while Boston sports radio irritates me, I'm amused by New York sports radio. At any given point in New York/New Jersey, there will be about 5-7 miserable fanbases. Yes, Giants fans are very happy and Mets fans aren't far behind, but what about the Knicks? See, endless fun. Plus, Mike and the Mad Dog haven't annoyed me yet. And Steve Sommers is the greatest radio host ever.

-WFNX: I'm not a huge fan of the "new" alternative scene, but I'm starting to like "The Sandbox."

-WBCN: Ah, my dark secret. I like "Opie and Anthony" better than any other morning radio show. The musical selection throughout the day is just okay. But I am endlessly drawn despite common sense and my own snobbish good taste to the goofy mess that is the "Toucher and Rich" show. And I hope that one day in my travels throughout Boston, I will be able to donate a couple of million eights to the Chili Guy who is, after all, a state police officer in days and years.

As I promised, tomorrow I'll compare the Beanpot teams to the GLI teams as I attempt to bridge the East coast/ West coast bias and make fun of Harvard in the bargain!