Rant of the Week: Obsession?

One thing you pick up on really quick if you sit anywhere near the Dog Pound at Agganis Arena is how much the BU kids really don't like BC. While no one in Hockey East really likes the Eagles, I can't think of another fan base that is this specific. PC fans as a rule do not like UCONN, Syracuse, or Georgetown in basketball. But we don't add "Huskies suck" to our chants like BU fans do to BC. The college kids in scarlet not alone: "Clarkson still sucks" at RPI and SLU and "Tech still sucks" at NMU. And of course, we have the endlessly insipid "Yankees suck" merchandising spree outside Fenway Park. But the Grandfather of all mutual antagonism is Scotland's Glasgow derby which has religious as well as sporting dimensions. In one form or another, obsession is rampant in sports.

And let's be honest with ourselves: it gets a little silly. Here's some examples of obsession getting well out of hand.

-In the Globe sports page, why are there Lakers fans on the Celtics blog? The two teams play each other twice all year. It doesn't make sense. It also makes little sense for the aforementioned trolls to continuously put down the Celtics as "irrelevant" when they seem to spend more time commenting on the blog than actual Celtics fans. I feel bad for the people who write these blogs. Some good reporting is getting muddied by garbage.

-I've mentioned this before, but the Providence Journal's message board is dominated by a handful of URI fans who seem more interested in public financing for the Dunkin' Donuts Center than they are in what the Rhody basketball team is doing. I'm not sure why they begrudge the Providence Bruins a chance to play in improved facilities just so they can screw over PC basketball. Seems kind of petty to me.

-This one really gets me: Start with a ridiculously prejudiced conceit (the Steelers are a dirty team). Add in a fan base that has never been able to cope with the idea of losing to the Patriots in not one, but two AFC title games. Then add a dash of ESPN fueled conspiracy theories that are exceeded in lameness only by the idea of Elvis still being alive. You would come up with this.
Hoo boy. The obsession here is multifaceted and quite insane. On both sides. I don't have a problem with Mr. Molori's writing (he's been giving props to the Emmy Award winning John Carchedi for years). But writing about how dirty the Steelers are? Maybe he thought his blog needed some web traffic. And it worked too well.
Steelers fans come across just as poorly as Mr. Molori. Actually, they come off worse because they just make the same moronic points over and over again. Sad. Very sad all the way around.

So I guess the lesson here is to be really really careful at how seriously you take these rivalries. Because if you go too far, you'll end up looking quite deranged and I'll make fun of you.

Random rants:
-Hey, with a seven game winning streak - punctuated by convincing results over the Suns and Magic - I believe the Celtics are no longer in "a rut". Now if only we can convince people that Stephan Marbury would not be a good pick up, we might get through this.

-Speaking of insanity, the Red Sox literally have no better options at catcher than Jason Variteck. And Mr. Variteck has no better option that the Red Sox - despite Satan Boras' delusional attempts to portray the opposite. So why the endless trade rumors on WEEI? Well, it's either that or whine about President Obama some more.

-Speaking of insane situations, the full scale rumble last Friday at Lawler (that just feels wrong. It will always be the Volpe Complex to me) that saw two BU players get injured, a parade of Merrimack players going to the penalty box, and Jackie Parker's angry post game diatribe about the refs not protecting his players has led to yet another half assed attempt to get Merrimack kicked out of the league. When are Hockey East fans going to give this up? The league isn't kicking anyone out. What might happen is that Merrimack might get sick and tired of finishing in the basement every year and drop hockey. And I'm sorry, that doesn't help anyone. Someone has to finish in last place. Umm, I hope not PC.

-Aside from Merrimack, is there any more depressing group of fans than Mainers? Even PC fans were convinced they could win ONE game. Despite a record that's much better than PC's, the Black Bears are "cursed" and need to get rid of Tim Whitehead post haste. Maine has been crappy for about a year and a half. PC has been stumbling in the dark wood for about 7 years. Yet we're the optimists. Go figure.

-Two shootouts for the Bruins this week are two too many.

-Hi Mark!

Lulz-akers: I can haz NBA Championchip!!!11!!1!

So, if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you'll realize that the one thing that I enjoy making fun of is over the top comments surrounding sports. And I need go no further this morning than the Lakers' victory over the Celtics.

Typically, the response from Boston fans was the usual "we suck" BS that is foisted upon us by WEEI and it's endless stream of Chicken Little callers and "I hate sports" hosts. But I keep forgetting how endlessly amusing Lakers fans are. This is group whose response to losing the NBA title in June was to bash the officials (which apparently - after the atrocity the officials put forth last night where the C's had 2 free throws the ENTIRE FIRST HALF - only they are allowed to do), make a variety of inane comments about how the championship was tainted by the Celtics "buying" a title (ever heard of "trades"?) and offer grim predictions that make me think they've somehow confused Andrew Bynum with Shaq. Well, apparently, they're no more lucid when they win. A few common threads from our friends in La-la land:

1. "This win was 'revenge'." If this is true, why weren't they awarded a title? If you want to "avenge" losing the NBA title, shouldn't you take the title away from the Celtics?

2. "(Celtics player's name here) is a dirty player." Apparently, the ref believes you.

3. "This is proof that the Lakers are awesome and will win the NBA title going away." It's December. If this is such a truism, I'll be attending the Stanley Cup parade next week. I understand that the months all blend together in southern California when you have no weather, but check your calenders.

4. "Celtics fans are living in a fantasy world." A fantasy where the defending NBA champions are 27-3? Umm, no. That's reality.

5. "This is a measuring stick game!" No, not really. It's one game. A true measuring stick is a 7 game series. We have a while to go. I will tell you that the Celtics weren't sharp last night and that MIGHT have something to do with the loss.

In summary, it's December. I know of no sport where titles are won in December. We have to wait about 6 months to figure out who will win the NBA title. But please: keep amusing us all with your insane Lul Catesque missives about how awesome Kobe is and how much Boston sucks. Because I seem to remember reading the same garbage last June. How'd that turn out, ultimately?

Random thoughts following the Celtic's Championship run

-I heard someone on 890 AM (ESPN's Boston affiliate) ruminate that win or lose, the Boston sports scene will be much less exciting when the NBA Finals end. They were right. I'm happy that the Red Sox have picked up momentum, but it's going to be much harder to get into the season right now. Usually, I can tell you how many games the Red Sox are in first or second (or, like two years ago third) place by. I honestly haven't been paying too much attention this year. I think part of the problem is being chased Tampa Bay instead of the Be-Pinstriped ones.

-Remember last year when the Celtics seemed to be completely luckless? They had just suffered through the worst season in recent memory (and considering the utterly horrific years with ML Carr and Rick Pitino, that says something) where the team went on a self-inflicted 18 game losing streak, only to miss out on the top pick in the draft. And now they're the Champions. Unreal.

-You'd think that this would inspire the Bruins to make a big move. Nope. It's one thing to be close to irrelevance, it's another thing to seemingly revel in it.

-Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks wearing a Celtic FC jersey to a Celtics event is clever. I've seen a few people wear the Hoops to C's events recently. I also see at least one or two green and white strips every time I'm in Fenway. I have no idea what links Celtic can have with the Red Sox save that Boston is "irish" (us being in the US) the same way Glasgow is "irish" (them being in Scotland at all).

-And being the PC homer I am, I wish Ryan Gomes was around to enjoy this. But I do appreciate his sacrifice to bring KG here.

-Speaking of the Big Ticket, I came to the conclusion during his completely inscrutable post game interview that KG is at least as crazy as Jonathan Papelbon, if not more so. I'm glad he's with us and not against us.

-Did Paul Pierce ever - in a thousand years - think THIS was going to happen? Last year he wanted out. Now he's the Finals MVP. This whole situation is completely inexplicable.

-Compared to the first time the Pat's won the Super Bowl, and the Red Sox winning in 2004, I'd have to say that I enjoyed this more. The first two titles I just mentioned put me in a state of shock: I'm still not convinced it actually happened. Because of the utter demolition of the Lakers, I had time to mentally process what was happening. The Sox never gave me that luxury in 2004. From Game Four of the ALCS onwards, they always threatened to lose.

-Speaking of the Lakers, I have no idea what to think of them. They aren't the Celtics arch rivals (that would be the 76'ers) and they only posed a threat when the C's were playing particularly incompetently. Kobe is be lot closer to LeBron than he is to Jordan and Phil Jackson spent most of the series meditating - he certainly wasn't coaching. So much for them being the superior team. Also, as irritating as the Hollywood Lakers fans are, they can't hold a candle to Evil Bizzaro New Englanders who root for the Yankees (aside from an absurd level of confidence that is now TOTALLY unfounded, what's the difference) and the violent Francophone mess that is the Canadiens fan base (rioting after a first round victory? Are you kidding me?!?), Lakers fans are rather tame.

-One final thought for tonight, the Larry O'Brien trophy looks like a hood ornament. Chalk that up as yet another reason why we need to get the Stanley Cup back to Boston.

I can't believe it!!!

Lakers in seven now, right?

A lot of people are eating crow right now. Myself included; I had the series going seven. I honestly think the C's can finish this team off in LA. And even if they don't, they have three chances to pull this off.

Wow! Just... wow!

David Stern Can Not Be Harmed By Conventional Weapons!

So, after the entire nation spends the better part of 48 hours ruminating that the Lakers will get every call imaginable for Game Three after the ridiculous free throw disparity in Game Two, David Stern trots out Bennett Salvatore. Did anyone not see this coming? And more to the point, did anyone NOT think David Stern would do this?

Give David Stern some credit: he knew he was going to get criticized for the pro-Boston slant of the officiating in Game Two and he further knew that the criticism was going to get worse if he sent scrubs to Game Three to give the Lakers the advantage. If you want to argue that the NBA is fixed, what would be more obvious than an entire game of make up calls? But David Stern doesn't care. He is apparently above criticism. The man just does what he wants.

Could you imagine if Roger Gooddell, Bud Selig, or Gary Bettman pulled this crap? League ratings would never be the same. But Stern gets away with it, much as he did with Tim Donaghy (which was far worse than the MLB steroid scandal and Spygate in my opinion because it's one thing for players and coaches to break the rules, it's another for the league officials to affect the games like they were Vince McMahon).
It's basically like David Stern is singlehandedly attempting to prove every cockamamie conspiracy theory Bill Simmons has come up with over the past eight years is absolutely true.

The fact that he would court almost certain condemnation leads me to the one unarguable conclusion:

David Stern can not be harmed. He might be invincible. He might even be the Highlander (in which case the Lakers/Celtics match up would be the Quickening). Now I want to buy "the Best of Queen" and crank the volume up to 11.

Lakers in Five, er... Six, right?

Well, there was nothing easy about the first two games of the finals, but given that the Celtics were supposed to curl up and die in these games, I would say that if Lakers are going to win the the NBA title, it's not going to be as easy as some of the prognosticators in the national media (and the aforementioned mouth breathers I made fun of a few days ago) thought it was going to be.

Two wins away.

Day of Mindless Drivel: Part Three

One more while I'm channeling Crow and Tom Servo:

"oh please whoever thought he was really hurt is to gulable he faked that the same way he faked you all into believing he was hurt he needed to do that or the celtics lost that game i don't care what anybody says he faked that injury like you would'nt belive looked what happened when he came back out enough said"

"is to gulable"- W would love this guy. "gulable"? I think that means "possessing the attributes of a sea gull."

he was really hurt is to gulable as rational arguments is to this guy.

"he faked that the same way he faked you all into believing he was hurt"- Isn't that the same thing?

"or the celtics lost that game"- Because the rest of his team mates did nothing, right?

"i don't care what anybody says"- Probably because you enjoy being an idiot.

"would'nt belive"- There's no way a functioning adult wrote this. None.

Well, that was fun. Which one of these twits most deserves a visit from Charlie Chaplin?

Day of Mindless Drivel: Part Two

Just so you don't think it's only Lakers fans (and their seemingly endless train of apologists) who are the problem, here's a gem by someone who will hopefully be moving from Boston to Djibouti any day now:

"By the way. People from LA have no business commenting on the toughness/manhood of anyone. LA is the heart of sissy/homeo land."

Thank you for painting us all as homophobic idiots who can't spell. Please root for a different team.

Day of Mindless Drivel: Part One

The sad pathetic descent of America's basement dwelling losers continues unabated. Here's a random sampling of the stupidity that passes for "conversation" on ESPN's vapid comment section:

"First off, Paul Pierce is a drama queen. Plain and simple. Don't argue about it, last night was a perfect example of that. All you Celtics fan in here are talking about how you dominated the lakers last night. The fact of the matter is the Lakers were leading for most of the game and it was a close game throughout. It could have gone either way, and this is with Kobe going 1-10 in the first half. If any of you think the Celts actually have a shot at winning ever again this season, good luck! Lakers in 5.
PS- I think I saw Pierce's vaj bag when he got wheelchaired of the court."

This is pretty bad, eh? Now let's dissect why this nimrod should be awarded a sub prime mortgage:

"Don't argue about it"- The mating call of someone with no valid argument.

" All you Celtics fan"- I hate the Celtics fan. I'd prefer the Celtic's air conditioner. Apostrophes are your friends!

"in here are talking about how you dominated the lakers last night." - Any Celtics fan having a conversation with this clown is too stupid to belong to this fan base. And anyone dumb enough to argue that the Celtics "dominated" anything last night was watching a different game. But at least we now know that Lakers fans aren't the only idiots on ESPN. Hallelujah! As if we weren't personally aware of any idiots in Boston, right?

"The fact of the matter is the Lakers were leading for most of the game and it was a close game throughout." - Umm,no they weren't. Does the space time continuum not work for you? This was one of the most back and forth games I've seen in ages.

"It could have gone either way"- But it didn't. Again, this guy needs a Flux Capacitor or a TARDIS.

"and this is with Kobe going 1-10 in the first half"- Yet his team mates had the Lakers up by 5 anyways. You do realize basketball is a team sport, right?

"If any of you think the Celts actually have a shot at winning ever again this season, good luck! Lakers in 5." - Yes, there's no way the Celtics will ever be able to play solid defense in the second half of a game. Except the 12 times it happened previously in the playoffs. Whoops!

"I think I saw Pierce's vaj bag when he got wheelchaired of the court"- You would be looking for that, Don Juan. Also, there's no such word as "wheelchaired".

I've said it once, I'll say it again: there needs to be some sort of test for cognitive ability given before you post on the internet. It also proves that my last vituperative rant was completely on target!