Jon versus sports

Random thoughts

2010-01-12T07:38:00.001-08:00

- Would it kill me to blog more than once every two months? Sigh.

- Would it also kill someone in the media to comment about the laughable incompetence of officiating in the NBA? Everyone who complains about refs is a whiny homer? Well, the whiny homers are right. The NBA's officials suck on toast.

- Was anyone - ANYONE - really surprised at the end of the Patriots season? There were two blowouts, but every other game was painful to watch.

- We knew that the Celtics games would get progressively more difficult as the age started to catch up with the Big Three, but this is ridiculous. It doesn't help that half the officials have sworn some sort of Mafia-esque vendetta against Kendrick Perkins, but see my second point.

- Kudos to the Friars basketball team for showing some sort of life in Big East play. The late collapse against URI, the awful first half against BC and the loss to Iona made us think it was going to be a looonnnnggg season. It still might be. But there's something to be said for taking the wins when you can get them.

- And should we be surprised by the Bruins taking three steps back this year? Not really. There's a point to having an "offense", you know...

- Does Theo Epstein understand the concept of offense?

- Speaking of inertia, the PC men's hockey team is much much better this year. They've improved in every category. And they remain in last place. This is already a long season.

Hey Joey Porter?

2009-11-08T13:19:00.000-08:00

What do you have to say today?

I'm dying to know...

What will happen first this fall?

2009-11-03T19:03:00.000-08:00

The Celtics lose a game

or...

The Bruins score a power play goal. Or hell, even A goal.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Fun fact: the Bruins have 6 power play goals in 14 games. The Friars have 4 in 7 games. I can't tell you how amusing this would be if I wasn't rooting for both teams

Rant of the week. New and random!

2009-10-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

-Stupid Geocities. I know my website wasn't that great and I used to take long periods between updates, but I will miss adding to it. And no, $4.99 a month for a website people barely noticed was not worth it.

-Yankee fans are going to hate this, but this team now reminds me of the 1996-2000 edition where once they had a lead in the late innings, the game was basically over.

-I want the Tim Donaghy book for Christmas.

-I also want to see the Vikings get blown out this weekend. About 3 or 4 crippling Favre turnovers in the late fourth quarter would be lovely - as the Steelers learned last week.

-Speaking of football, people dismissing the Pats because they beat up bad teams is lame. What are they supposed to in that situation? There are no style points in the NFL - this is probably a lesson the Pats learned in 2007.

-Now that the Irish finally beat BC, does this mean Notre Dame will deign to play the Eagles every year? I understand that Notre Dame also plays USC, Michigan, and MSU every year, but they also play the service academies, a hit or miss Purdue team and Stanford team that hasn't done much lately. It's not like they can't squeeze a good ACC team in there, which is what BC is every year.

-The real test for PC hockey is about to begin: 2 games against a good UMASS team, a road game up in Vermont and the Mayor's Cup against Brown that PC usually manages to lose at the best of times.

-The worst part of the 92-59 pimp slapping the Bobcats received from the Celtics this week wasn't the fact that they only scored 59 points. It's that the Celtics honestly didn't look that good. What happens when Glenn Davis recovers from the thumb injuries and gets his head out of his ass? The bench is already good and Ray Allen has been cold. When he gets hot, the C's might start putting together an even more insane score line.

- Hey Mark...

Coffin Online 1999-2009: RIP

2009-10-25T16:11:00.000-07:00

It wasn't the greatest site, but I will miss adding to www.geocities.com/boompc99/he.html

A moment of silence from my crappy 10 year old website.

(Hi Mark)

I'm salvaging some of the old content, and I'll be torturing the internet with that information in the coming weeks. Stay tuned...

Thoughts from Beyond the Grave!

2009-09-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

-Wow, 4 months between posts? I suck at blogging. This is why I don't Twitter although I can't imagine I would be any more active.

-Never have I looked forward to a hockey season less. Although I suppose PC will exceed expectations as they do every year they're supposed to finish in dead last place.

-Am I wuss for almost crying at Tedy Bruschi's retirement? Oh well.

-The demise of WBCN was tragic, but 98.5 has been a pleasant surprise, mostly because Felger/Mazz isn't a colossal mess. Toucher and Rich is Toucher and Rich, but Kadolfo really needs to find the Chili Guy. The entire show is being carried by Fred making fun of Gary Tanguay. Buffy!

-Texas never seems to lose, but the Red Sox keep gaining ground. Not sure how this is happening either.

-Stupid WEEI never took my advice about the Whiner Line. Giving an award to the Man on the Way up? Reprehensible.

-"Hello, Control." "Hello, Tony."

-Words of Wisdom: "Eating kittens is just - just plain WRONG. And no one should do it! Ever!" - The Tick

-Hi, Mark!

While everyone wasn't paying attention...

2009-04-24T20:33:00.001-07:00

Jason Bay and Kevin Youklis are good as baseball...

Not so good? Lakers Trolls on the Boston.com board dreaming up the Bulls in 5. Guess again!

I live!!!!

2009-04-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am alive! Not even the the recovering alcoholics the NBA employs as officials could get rid of me! Not even the worst season of PC hockey in 30 years could finish the job. I just have one thing to say:

Au revoir, les enfants!

Chad Finn 1 WEEI 0

2009-02-26T10:19:00.000-08:00

Another shocking upset from the Globe's OT

The only thing that sucks more than WEEI's recent output is the comments defending the station. "Hey Chad, go listen to NPR!" Is that the best you can do? I will gladly take NPR over 3/4's of the stations in this town.

(I didn't think much of the OT page originally, but we might actually be on the same page. Scary, eh?)

Delicious delicious crow...

2009-02-24T18:25:00.000-08:00

Pittsburgh (1) 73
Providence 81

Eating crow never tasted so good.

(yes, I am alive. Been very busy lately.)

Rant of the Week: Obsession?

2009-01-22T19:33:00.000-08:00

One thing you pick up on really quick if you sit anywhere near the Dog Pound at Agganis Arena is how much the BU kids really don't like BC. While no one in Hockey East really likes the Eagles, I can't think of another fan base that is this specific. PC fans as a rule do not like UCONN, Syracuse, or Georgetown in basketball. But we don't add "Huskies suck" to our chants like BU fans do to BC. The college kids in scarlet not alone: "Clarkson still sucks" at RPI and SLU and "Tech still sucks" at NMU. And of course, we have the endlessly insipid "Yankees suck" merchandising spree outside Fenway Park. But the Grandfather of all mutual antagonism is Scotland's Glasgow derby which has religious as well as sporting dimensions. In one form or another, obsession is rampant in sports.

And let's be honest with ourselves: it gets a little silly. Here's some examples of obsession getting well out of hand.

-In the Globe sports page, why are there Lakers fans on the Celtics blog? The two teams play each other twice all year. It doesn't make sense. It also makes little sense for the aforementioned trolls to continuously put down the Celtics as "irrelevant" when they seem to spend more time commenting on the blog than actual Celtics fans. I feel bad for the people who write these blogs. Some good reporting is getting muddied by garbage.

-I've mentioned this before, but the Providence Journal's message board is dominated by a handful of URI fans who seem more interested in public financing for the Dunkin' Donuts Center than they are in what the Rhody basketball team is doing. I'm not sure why they begrudge the Providence Bruins a chance to play in improved facilities just so they can screw over PC basketball. Seems kind of petty to me.

-This one really gets me: Start with a ridiculously prejudiced conceit (the Steelers are a dirty team). Add in a fan base that has never been able to cope with the idea of losing to the Patriots in not one, but two AFC title games. Then add a dash of ESPN fueled conspiracy theories that are exceeded in lameness only by the idea of Elvis still being alive. You would come up with this.
Hoo boy. The obsession here is multifaceted and quite insane. On both sides. I don't have a problem with Mr. Molori's writing (he's been giving props to the Emmy Award winning John Carchedi for years). But writing about how dirty the Steelers are? Maybe he thought his blog needed some web traffic. And it worked too well.
Steelers fans come across just as poorly as Mr. Molori. Actually, they come off worse because they just make the same moronic points over and over again. Sad. Very sad all the way around.

So I guess the lesson here is to be really really careful at how seriously you take these rivalries. Because if you go too far, you'll end up looking quite deranged and I'll make fun of you.

Random rants:
-Hey, with a seven game winning streak - punctuated by convincing results over the Suns and Magic - I believe the Celtics are no longer in "a rut". Now if only we can convince people that Stephan Marbury would not be a good pick up, we might get through this.

-Speaking of insanity, the Red Sox literally have no better options at catcher than Jason Variteck. And Mr. Variteck has no better option that the Red Sox - despite Satan Boras' delusional attempts to portray the opposite. So why the endless trade rumors on WEEI? Well, it's either that or whine about President Obama some more.

-Speaking of insane situations, the full scale rumble last Friday at Lawler (that just feels wrong. It will always be the Volpe Complex to me) that saw two BU players get injured, a parade of Merrimack players going to the penalty box, and Jackie Parker's angry post game diatribe about the refs not protecting his players has led to yet another half assed attempt to get Merrimack kicked out of the league. When are Hockey East fans going to give this up? The league isn't kicking anyone out. What might happen is that Merrimack might get sick and tired of finishing in the basement every year and drop hockey. And I'm sorry, that doesn't help anyone. Someone has to finish in last place. Umm, I hope not PC.

-Aside from Merrimack, is there any more depressing group of fans than Mainers? Even PC fans were convinced they could win ONE game. Despite a record that's much better than PC's, the Black Bears are "cursed" and need to get rid of Tim Whitehead post haste. Maine has been crappy for about a year and a half. PC has been stumbling in the dark wood for about 7 years. Yet we're the optimists. Go figure.

-Two shootouts for the Bruins this week are two too many.

-Hi Mark!

A tale of two sports teams

2009-01-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

This week once again proves the difference between PC ice hockey and PC basketball.

PC hockey, all but given up for dead, picks up a goaltender (I'm still not sure how the NCAA allowed this to happen, but whatever), and proceeds to go on a 3-0-1 streak, getting improbable wins at BU and UMASS and grabbing a tie at the Graveyard of the Skating Goons, Alfond Arena - all of this despite taking a crazy amount of penalties, and being soundly outplayed in most of these games.

PC basketball, with a good record and an undefeated record in the Big East, travels to Georgetown (one of the three or four places in this conference where this team never gets a win) and gets physically man handled by the Hoyas, losing by seven even after a late run cuts the lead to one. They then proceed to go home and play another ranked team - Marquette - where they play the game of their lives for 30 minutes. And then revert to the awful form that lost them the Georgetown game. They lose again.

This is the difference between PC ice hockey and PC basketball. PC ice hockey overachieves. PC basketball under achieves.

Then the calender turns to March and they both lose.

I love these teams, but God (Shammgod?) help me...

Rant of the Week: Obfuscation and you

2009-01-16T06:17:00.000-08:00

Obfustate: verb 1. To make so confused or opaque as to be difficult to perceive or understand:

One thing I noticed about the Friars are their near miraculous three game winning is that each team that lost to PC managed to give the Friars credit for their play without failing to criticize their own team. To me, this seemed like a fair and honest assessment - there's two reasons your team loses a game. The first is that they were outplayed. And the second is that your team failed to do what they were supposed to. To me, this is how most conversations about sporting events should be.

Sadly, this is not the case. It seems that in the vast majority of cases, a fan of a losing team will find some reason(usually idiotic) to not feel bad about losing the game. The most common excuse for losing is that the officials were "out to get you". I've made this excuse myself about 1,000 times. I'm only human. And sometimes, bad officiating seems to get out of hand. But looking at the situation rationally, I don't think the officials are out to get any team I root for. They're human, and they certainly do make mistakes. But unless David Stern really REALLY wants your team to lose (at least 30 sets of NBA fans should agree with me here) that's not a valid excuse. If the officials are bad, it usually affects both teams equally.

But the obfuscation people use to make themselves feel better that really gets me is the issue of "class". It's a fairly transparent ruse, but some people, in order to make themselves feel better for rooting for a team that lost will attack the players and other fans for being "classless". How pathetic can you get?

The purpose of sports is to win within the confines of the rules of the game. It is not to impress other people with your class. That has nothing to do with sports. While it would be nice if everyone could comport themselves like a reasonable human being, there are idiots out there who don't. And while these people should be criticized, it does not - I repeat - it DOES NOT suddenly mean that you're the better team because your team has more class. It just means that you're a classy loser. Hey, there's nothing wrong with losing a game. It's just a game, after all. And most of us will see more losses that wins. That's life.

I realize I have blogged about this a few times before. The overblown Spygate nonsense was obfuscation to make people feel better about losing to the Patriots. The Knicks tried to obfuscate losing to the Celtics by kvetching about "trash talk". And the Canadiens insane preoccupation with beating up Milan Luccic was a handy distraction, but was really much ado about nothing. But I just thought I should re-iterate that when you lose and you start complaining about class and so and so being a "dirty" player it's pretty obvious that you're trying to take the focus off of losing.

Ultimately, if your team loses, they lose. Obfuscating the issue by bringing class into it does nothing but make you look sad. Don't do it. Give credit to the teams who beat you and ignore the fools who attempt to change the subject when you beat them.

Random Rant:
-Only one this week. Hi Mark! Keep those comments coming!

Another modest proposal for WEEI: There's no whining in sports

2009-01-15T10:04:00.001-08:00

Every once in a while, I offer my advice (and the implied threat of feline vandalism) to WEEI in hopes that they will take my advice and remain the Number One Sports Station in America. Or at least remain in the top five in one demographic. This time, I feel that a tiny bit of pruning of a short 10 minutes of WEEI's broadcasting would do a world of good. To whit:

I frequently question the thought processes of New England sports fans - both on this blog that no one except Mark reads and in real life - but never more so than the adoration that people have for the Big Show's Whiner Line. For those of you lucky enough to have never heard the Whiner Line, you've probably heard something like it. Basically, the Whiner Line is a "random" catalog of saved voice mails that are supposed to be funny or entertaining. Yes, the same format that exists in every single radio market in North America exists in Boston* (seven times over). And as in the case with the other Whiner Lines, it's not quite as funny as people think. It needs improvement, and I'm here to help.

Why am I so anti Whiner Line? Because all the "whines" fall into five basic categories:

1. Making fun of the hosts. Usually over something said earlier in the show when most of us poor fools are working at our "jobs". If I ever find myself listening to the Big Show at 2 PM for more than 2 days at a time, shoot me. This is supposed to be really funny "meta" humor. Like the "Simpsons", I guess. Except for the fact that Steve Burton laughing like an castrated hyena at 3PM wasn't funny the first time.

2. Off topic political commentary. As if the the morning show wasn't enough, now we have to hear the listeners go off in the same NON-SPORTS tangents. What, can you not get WRKO or WTTK where you live? And if you can't please let me know where you live so I can move there. Commercial talk radio blows. This is why people are driven to NPR.

3. Unfunny song parodies. I'm sure comparing Fred Smerlas to Domenic the Donkey was funny the first time... oh wait. It was never funny.

4. The same five or six idiots giving us their stupid catchphrases. Especially the "Fat Bastard" guy and the Man on the Way Up. If you've heard the Whiner Line, I don't need to say anything else.

5. Actually funny comments that have something to do with sports. Usually happens about twice a show.

As you can see, there a bit of pruning to be done here so we may have the best Whiner Line possible.

My first advice would be to get rid of celebrity callers. For example, Frank from Gloucester calling up and leaving a message about how awesome Glen Ordway is and how he's friends with people who run the Celtics? No one cares. I also don't care that Glen is a "Fat bastard". The schtick is old. And if you really hate the Man on the Way Up so much, stop putting him on the air. It's a simple concept, but it goes a long way. Since most of the "celebrities" are the ones doing awful song parodies, referencing things I didn't hear because I was working, making fun of hosts and whining about liberals, this will speed things up dramatically. These twits shouldn't be on the air period. If they think like the hosts, they should get their own shows. Again, I'm glad to help.

Secondly, ban "Fred the Christmas Donkey" immediately. In fact, ban all music. None of these people will ever be confused with Weird Al. And it will prevent Fred from snapping and killing us all with his bare hands.

Third, set a time limit on these whines. The joke shouldn't require more than 20 seconds of set up time.

Fourth, plenty of amusing things happen in sports. Every day! It shouldn't be necessary to hear a plummer from Everett opine on Pete Sheppard's weight, the weather or whether or not Barack Obama is a communist. What team do they play for? If I wanted that, I'd listen to the morning show. I don't.

Fifth, the Whiney Awards? Stop them. Calling in to a radio show should never net you an award. For any reason.

Hopefully, WEEI will take my advice and the Big Show will continue to be the best program on the station. Okay, maybe the second best, but that's only when Mike Adams isn't fixated on players from the LA Freakin' Dodgers.

*Just to add another layer of awfulness to the proceedings, the Big Show apparently ripped this idea off from Charlie's old pal Howie the Hostage and his Chump Line. Howie ripped the idea off from about 3,000 other people. Of course, the Big Show and the Hostage can't stand each other. This largely because Howie hates all things sports. It also might have something to do with the Hostage absconding with the Big Show's food (this proves two things: a. Howie is a jackanape of epic proportions and b. never steal food from fat guys). Why the Big show needs more food is another problem. If you donated all the food the Big O and company eat to the Sudan, there would be no hunger.

BTW: Sorry, this will be the last time my blog entry has a footnote.

What is going on?

2009-01-14T08:04:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure even I believe what is currently going on in Providence: the Friars are suddenly in the midst of a 3 game winning streak. With road games at UMASS and Maine in the horizon, that streak might not last the weekend, but it's a welcome change from the awfulness of the first half of the season. It's difficult to pin point why this is happening: the Friar's offense was awful in the first half of the season, but they've scored 4 goals against Brown, UML and BU. I bring this up because the obvious answer to why the Friars are suddenly hot is the arrival of new goalie Alex Beaudry. While Mr. Beaudry's play in net has been a welcome upgrade, it doesn't explain why the offense can suddenly score goals. Even the power play has shown a marked improvement.

So how does a team go from being god awful to the point where they can beat the number two team in the country on the road? I wish I knew. The last two games have a been a wonderful surprise, but I'm almost too shocked to be optimistic! Suddenly, PC has a decent chance of playing their way out of the Hockey East basement. They might even sneak into 8th place.

(of course, they probably won't. Pessimism dies hard.)

Rant of Week: Hi Mark, and other missives.

2009-01-09T06:15:00.000-08:00

For the first PC hockey "weekend" of the new year - should a Tuesday game count as a "weekend" - I'm dusting off the free form rant from earlier in the year.

-First off, Hi Mark. Yes, we will come and visit soon. I was thinking of this weekend, but yet again there's a "the World is coming to an end! Load up on milk and bread and lobsters!!!" type snow storm coming on Saturday night. In truth, it will probably be about 1-2 inches, but the roads will still be awful. Go figure.

-I understand that Tim Army can't come right out and say "Oh my God, we're screwed, we're screwed!" but if there's a reason for optimism about PC's season right now, I'm missing it. One point in Hockey East. One.

-I'll stay in Rhode Island for the next comment. Congrats to Keano Davis and company for somehow getting the PC team I saw flounder against BC to 3-0 in the Big East. I don't care what kind of teams they had to beat to get there and how big of a challenge the game at Georgetown is going to be. That's an accomplishment. Keep up the good work.

-And on opposite side of the spectrum, we have the Celtics. Talk about a perfect cocktail of awfulness: unforgiving schedule, awful bench play, an offense that disappears in the last quarter, teams "figuring out" my man Rondo, a defense that has played poorly at times, and - as always - the awful officiating that NBA is famous for. And now, we have Cleveland on the horizon. The way this travesty of a month is going, look for LeBron to score 137 tonight.

-It's such a cliche: "I almost drove off the road when I heard BLANK on the radio." So no, I didn't almost drive off the road when some caller to WEEI called in to say he thought Theo Epstein was doing a great job this off season. But I did laugh. Loudly. As currently, constituted, the Red Sox will be fighting the Yankees for the Wild Card spot. If everything works out, they might beat out Tampa Bay for the division lead - I'm not sold that the Rays are going to fade.

-Charlie Chaplin needs to focus his feline anger on the tools that infest the Celtics side of www.boston.com. Is it really that boring in Los Angeles that the same two or three Lakers trolls have NOTHING better to do than post immature trash talk and whine about how the person who runs the blog keeps deleting their idiocy? My advice to them : If you don't like your posts being deleted, why don't you attempt to add to the conversation instead of posting like a 9 year old with a sugar high and no dictionary? Or get your own blog so we can make fun of you in a new and different way!

-The biggest story in Boston sports right now is the dismissal of BC's football coach for going behind AD Gene DeFillipo's back to interview for ... the Jets?!?! I've heard every conceivable angle on this story, but no one has yet brought up what an awful job that is: not only are coaching a team that plays second fiddle to the Giants, but you play in a stadium NAMED after the team you're playing second fiddle to. While there's a lot of talent on the Jets, you do have to deal with a quarter back who practically gifted the last game of the season to the opposing team. To top it all off, you have the New York media breathing down your neck and practically begging you to fail. Yep, sign me up for that job! He was better off at the Heights.

Somebody break a whole mess of computers part VI: Jason Takes Manhattan

2009-01-02T13:27:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are coming to this blog for the first time... I apologize. Very sorry, I'll try to do better.

Seriously, for those of you who are new here, one of the running jokes in this blog is the destructive temperament of my cat, Charlie Chaplin. The only things my cat enjoys more than eating, my lap, and sleeping is destroying things. Sadly, his first victim was my computer. Since then, I've been trying to focus Charlie's destructive impulses for "good". "Good" in this case means destroying the computers of people who irritate me on the internet. (this is pretend of course. Charlie isn't allowed to leave the house, much less board a plane and start sabotaging other people's computers. I feel someone might take this is a serious threat. It's all in good fun, even if these people deserve it)

Here are Charlie's pending warrants of destruction and the status of those warrants:

-Bill O'Reilly: Reason for incurring my wrath? Writing the worst column known to man. Warrant status? Pardoned I've managed to avoid his awful writing for the better part of six months. The McCain defeat was punishment enough for him.

-Howie "The Hostage" Carr: Reason for incurring my wrath? Boring me to tears by writing about the same topic endlessly for 20 years and making me not care about government corruption at all. Bashing Patriots fans and gloating over Tom Brady's injury. Warrant status? pardoned Never followed up on his idiotic Brady bashing - probably because he was scared of Charlie. The defeat of his lady love (who can see Russia from her home!) was punishment enough.

-Gregg Easterbrook: Reason for incurring my wrath? Impersonating a Russian author. Warrant status? Oustanding I apologize to his editor for Charlie's lack of action. Imagine proofreading the Encyclopedia Britannica every week. Ouch!

-Phil Mushnick: Reason for incurring my wrath? Acting like the Bill O'Reilly of sports columnists. Mentioning pro-wrestling. Status of Warrant?Elevated Has been whinier than usual lately and has managed to stereotype all college athletes as criminals. Generalize much? Charlie needs to take out his monitor as well as his keyboard!

-Idiots on Youtube/ESPN: Reason for incurring my wrath? Being unable to spell, make a coherent thought, or function as a rational human being. Status of warrant? I'm sending Luca Brasi instead Add Boston.com to the list. These people need their computers smashed. I'm scared that I share oxygen with these jackanapes.

Here's the newest warrant for Charlie to take care of:

-Dan Shaugnessy: Reason for incurring my wrath? Writing a book about the Curse of the Bambino, thus perpetuating that curse non-sense. Writes about how every team in New England is going to win a championship... then changes his mind half way through the year and writes about how the teams suck. Say "Bye bye bye!" to your computer!

My teams: A year in review.

2009-01-02T08:13:00.000-08:00

You usually see this lazy crap masquerading as columns/blog entries in late December. But I'm SO lazy that I waited until early January. So there.

We'll start with the least successful teams and move up.

PC Hockey: What an awful awful excuse for a year. The Friars ended 2007 by defeating the national champion Spartans at the GLI which gave everyone a sense that this team might be on the verge of something great. They weren't: the team imploded down the stretch, getting swept by Merrimack(!), shut out twice by BU and bounced casually by the championship caliber Eagles in a HE Quarter final series that was over after 2 minutes in game one. The new season was just as poor. Aside from winning the Mayors Cup, the Skating Friars did nothing right and ended up winless in Hockey East, with one measly tie against UVM.
Trending: Up. It seems odd, but the Friars can't do worse. They did end 2008 with a win, even if it was against a woeful Brown team that might actually be in worse shape (!).

PC Basketball: Yet another miserable end to the season and an awful away record doomed PC in the Big East and led to Tim Welsh's ouster. Keno Davis took over and while there's been some improvement, this is beginning to look a lot like a rebuilding year.
Trending: Down. Keno's team might get better, but the Big East is too good to not punish a team in transition.

Arsenal: Not a lot happened with the Gunners this year. Thanks to the rise of Chelsea and ManU's constant ability to sign everyone on the planet (who wasn't snatched up by Real Madrid) Arsenal is stuck in or near the Big Fou without actually challenging for a league title. The only problem is, Liverpool has picked up the pace and Aston Villa is now above them. This might be the year they finish out of the Champions League.
Trending: Down. I have a bad feeling Everton is going to catch them as well. But at least Spurs might get relegated!

Georgia Tech football: A pretty successful season, forgiving the bludgeoning LSU gave the Wreck in the Chick-fil-A Bowl (wha?!?). The team was a tie breaker away from the ACC championship and they finally -FINALLY- beat Georgia.
Trending: Up. Especially if they can figure out this whole forward pass thing.

Bruins: Last season ended like every decent Bruins season in the past 6 years - a playoff loss to the Habs. In this case, the Bruins dragged the far superior Canadiens to seven games before succumbing. Little did we know that last season was a mere precursor to one in which the Bruins would end up as the hottest team in hockey!
Trending: Up. The Bruins are - by ONE point - the best team in hockey right now. Inexplicable.

Patriots: The Patriot's bid at history fell short when they lost the Super Bowl to a Giants team that basically pulled the game out of no where (when you catch a ball with your HELMET, God likes you very much). Karma did not get kinder in the first game of the 2008 season when Tom Brady was injured and Matt Cassell took over. The injuries just got worse from there. But for some reason, the Patriots just kept winning. Despite the aforementioned injuries, an awful secondary and screwing up three chances to take out very good teams, the Pats finished 11-5 and were a few Favre interceptions away from the Jets bailing them out. The Pats remain the only 11-5 team in the 12 team playoff era to miss the playoffs.
Trending: Up. The reasoning here is that even if Brady doesn't come back, the Pats have a legitimate QB to back him up. The injury problems can't possibly be as severe as last season and if the team has any intelligence at all they will FINALLY fix the secondary.

Red Sox: The Red Sox' attempts at defending their World Series title were derailed by mounting Patriot-esque injuries and the rise of the Tampa Bay Rays. Yet despite all of this, the Sox managed to drag the Rays to seven games, losing 3-1 in the deciding game. The worst part of the year was been the post season where the Yankees went on a characteristic spending orgy, signing up free agents in a (probably futile) attempt to surpass the Red Sox and Rays. The AL East has gone from two teams to three in the blink of an eye.
Trending: sideways. The Sox have done nothing in the free agent market and next year's team looks pretty much identical. Thee Yankees got a lot better, but I haven't heard a peep from the Rays.

Celtics: The Celtics cruised through the regular season. The playoffs were an intense struggle: the egregiously poor officiating the NBA is known for conspired with the C's looking completely lost on the road to create two grueling seven game series against the Hawks and Cavaliers. Then the Celtics got stronger and took out the Pistons and Lakers to raise the 17th banner. And the current season was more of same. The only problem is the recent west coast road swing where the Celtics lost 3 close games. It seems that the bench is even more of a problem than last year.
Trending: Down. Unless they can add someone to the bench. In their defense, after the phenomenal stretch they were on from last year up until Christmas Day, there's no where else to go.

Celtic FC: How can you do better than three league titles in a row? How about four? As of today, the Hoops are 7 points up on Satan and in good shape for the rest of the year - mostly because they can focus on the league due to their ABYSMAL stay in the Champions League.
Trending: sideways. Winning the SPL is great, being in position to do it 4 years in a row is better, but what the hell happens to this team on the road in Europe?

Hi Mark!
Happy Birthday, Favorite Person!!!

Welcome 2009!

2008-12-31T13:02:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! To the twelve people who read my blog on a consistent basis, all the best for the new year and stay safe.

To everyone else, no, I'm not that bitter and sarcastic in real life. Believe it or not...

Lulz-akers: I can haz NBA Championchip!!!11!!1!

2008-12-26T09:58:00.000-08:00

So, if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you'll realize that the one thing that I enjoy making fun of is over the top comments surrounding sports. And I need go no further this morning than the Lakers' victory over the Celtics.

Typically, the response from Boston fans was the usual "we suck" BS that is foisted upon us by WEEI and it's endless stream of Chicken Little callers and "I hate sports" hosts. But I keep forgetting how endlessly amusing Lakers fans are. This is group whose response to losing the NBA title in June was to bash the officials (which apparently - after the atrocity the officials put forth last night where the C's had 2 free throws the ENTIRE FIRST HALF - only they are allowed to do), make a variety of inane comments about how the championship was tainted by the Celtics "buying" a title (ever heard of "trades"?) and offer grim predictions that make me think they've somehow confused Andrew Bynum with Shaq. Well, apparently, they're no more lucid when they win. A few common threads from our friends in La-la land:

1. "This win was 'revenge'." If this is true, why weren't they awarded a title? If you want to "avenge" losing the NBA title, shouldn't you take the title away from the Celtics?

2. "(Celtics player's name here) is a dirty player." Apparently, the ref believes you.

3. "This is proof that the Lakers are awesome and will win the NBA title going away." It's December. If this is such a truism, I'll be attending the Stanley Cup parade next week. I understand that the months all blend together in southern California when you have no weather, but check your calenders.

4. "Celtics fans are living in a fantasy world." A fantasy where the defending NBA champions are 27-3? Umm, no. That's reality.

5. "This is a measuring stick game!" No, not really. It's one game. A true measuring stick is a 7 game series. We have a while to go. I will tell you that the Celtics weren't sharp last night and that MIGHT have something to do with the loss.

In summary, it's December. I know of no sport where titles are won in December. We have to wait about 6 months to figure out who will win the NBA title. But please: keep amusing us all with your insane Lul Catesque missives about how awesome Kobe is and how much Boston sucks. Because I seem to remember reading the same garbage last June. How'd that turn out, ultimately?

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch/You'll shoot your eye out!

2008-12-24T06:22:00.000-08:00

Dear Red Sox fans,

First off, Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah/Festive Festivus, whatever.

Second off, calm down. Relax. We go through this every year. I know that not signing Texiera and the apparent paralysis of Red Sox management to sign ANYONE AT ALL this year is frustrating, but we're getting too down on the team right now.

I understand that a certain third place team in the Bronx just got a whole lot better, basically by making obvious free agent signings they could afford. Yes, the Be-Pinstriped Ones will be much better next year. But they do that every year. How is this morning any worse than the morning following the Sabathia signing? How on earth is this different from the pick ups of A-Rod and Giambi?

Are Red Sox fans really dumb enough to NOT remember these things happening? And remembering how it didn't lead to a 27th World Championship for You Know Who (and I don't mean Voldemorte).

Don't these spending sprees usually back fire?

Everyone needs to calm down, relax and remind yourselves: it's only December.

Hugs and kisses,
Jon

Do we share the same brain? "I want to be a dentist!"

2008-12-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

More good things other people wrote

Again, I'm on the same page with someone. Scary, eh?

How actual Boston fans think: "No one will believe Santa Claus was captured by Martians!"

2008-12-18T06:03:00.000-08:00

I get the impression that I'm not alone as a Boston fan. Most fans do at least have a passing interest in the teams in the four major sports (yeah, I count hockey. Bite me, ESPN.) and want all the teams to do well. While I will concede that the Red Sox are the most popular team in town, I don't think this means that no one cares about the other three teams. The interest just goes up and down: I love the Bruins, but trust me, I wasn't planning my evenings around them a few years ago when they were dead in the water. The same could be said about the pre-KG Celtics who were trying very hard to lose their way into a lottery spot.

I'm bringing this up because I think the general population of the United States thinks that Boston is a "bandwagon" town. They also think American Idol is a good show and Britney Spears is interesting (hee hee). This is wrong. With the exception of a few insane fan bases, you don't see too many teams selling out buildings when they're lousy. A good example was the barren mausoleum that the Patriots played in last week. Gee, and here I was thinking the Raiders had a rabid group of fans? The point is, when the teams suck, the fans aren't going to pay exorbitant ticket prices to see them play. Boston fans are no different from any other sports fans in America in this regard. I also love the idea that the Patriots had no fans until 2001. In reality, the current interest in the team started with Bill Parcells in 1993. Get your facts straight. Also, the interest in the Red Sox pre-dates 2004. Try 1967.

If you want to trash the people who just suddenly remembered the Celtics existed after 15 years, go right ahead. But not all of us forgot them. We just weren't filling the Fleet/Garden to see ML Carr, Rick Pitino and pre-KG Doc Rivers attempt to get lottery picks.

I also take umbrage at the concept that we spend all of our time whining about officials. The reason this gets brought up is the outrage over the level of officiating in the NBA play offs last year. I'm sorry, but everyone complains about the officiating in the NBA. It's genuinely inexplicable. Sorry, but Boston fans - as well as the fans of the other 30 odd teams in the NBA - have a point here.

The idea that New Englanders are rioting idiots is also untrue. Most of the rioting seems to take place on or around college campuses. I don't know how many people remember college, but there was a lot of drinking and a lot of idiocy going on in the evenings. The fact that in a college town, college kids are making asses of themselves is a non-story. That they shouldn't be out pulling this crap is a given. But labeling Boston fans as European soccer hooligans is humerous, especially with all the kids who are going to school here from out of state. The guy who works 9-5, five days a week isn't over turning cars on Huntington Avenue.

Last, and most obvious: I can pronounce the letter "R". And most of the rest of my fellow fans can as well. We just choose not to.

See everyone? We're a lot alike. Let's all join hands and sing a jaunty tune!

The Bruins vs. Celtics Debate: "Marley was dead to begin with."

2008-12-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

Let the debate continue... and then end.

I'm not offended by this article. I'm offended by the existence of it. Why not enjoy the fact that both teams are successful? Why do we have to rank everyone?

This isn't the first time the Globe has pulled this crap: they celebrated the Celtic's NBA title by reminding everyone about the popularity of the Red Sox. Did they think we all forgot? It's possible to root for multiple teams in multiple sports.

As someone who roots for and loves all four major Boston sports teams, these conversations make no sense to me.

Fall out from PC/URI: "I never thought it was such a bad little tree."

2008-12-12T06:52:00.000-08:00

From the PC Sucks board

From the I Hate Tim Welsh Society

Fortunately, two groups of fans griping about one thing or another is the worst thing that happened this year. In past we had the Rhody mascot beaten up in a bathroom, the PC mascot attempting to distract URI's cheerleaders and various atrocities - most of them blown far out of proportion by the incredibly whiny president at Rhody. As nasty as it does seem, this is a fairly mellow conversation compared to year's past.

There are two points that get brought up again and again in these arguments. The first is the renovation of the Dunkin Donuts Center. URI fans are enraged that state funds went to "fix" this facility. The problem with their argument is that unless they really hate the Providence Bruins - the main tenant of the Dunk - they really don't have much to complain about. Since the Baby B's are the going to be the prime benefactors of any improvement done to the Dunk, they should be the ones criticized. The tax money in Rhode Island is probably going to to things about 9,000 times stupider. Why then the four year crying jag about this?
Because PC would benefit from the renovations, and God forbid that ever happen. They want to punish PC because they hate them. That's pretty much the end of the argument. For a PC fan, reading any thread on the Projo board is the equivalent of banging your head against a desk over and over again. Banging your head is probably more productive as well. I see that 4 years of complaining about the Dunk renovations on a message board didn't work. Funny that. All the moronic "Pee Cee" comments in the world didn't suddenly lead to PC's summary eviction from the Dunk. (I don't know, maybe if it wasn't the same 10-12 mouth breathing cretins complaining about the Friars non stop, someone would take them seriously. I don't know...)

Now for the twits in my own fan base: the Friars are not in the position to be ending this rivalry or telling Rhody that PC will now be hosting all future match ups. I don't care if URI is a "crappy A-10 team". PC is a crappy Big East team. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the Friars didn't suddenly turn into UCLA. Blame Tim Welsh all you want, but the the team hasn't done anything in the post season since 1997. Each and every year, the team completely lost the plot once March rolled around. If PC was Duke, it would be easy to tell URI to pound sand. But it isn't like PC is a far better program that URI. In fact, they're probably about equal, save that PC is in a better conference. How the hell do you look down on Rhody after the past 10 years?
Besides which, should PC be able to win at the Ryan Center before they even think of dismissing the home and home aspect of this rivalry? My suggestion for PC fans who hate having their team's RPI dragged down by Rhody is this: Beat them. Then the other solutions will present themselves. There's no reason to suspend this match up or move it exclusively to the Dunk. I also think two PC/URI games every year is silly.
As far as the PC AD bending over backwards to make URI welcome and not getting a reciprocal deal at the Ryan Center, this is the same crew that schedules home basketball games at the same times as home hockey games.

One last thing, I will never understand Rhody fans who refuse to go to Providence and PC fans who refuse to go to North Kingston. It's a 40 minute drive. I drive longer than that to go to work every morning.

PC Hockey: Too much!!

2008-12-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

For Brown, at least.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Mayor's Cup Champions!!!

Two rivals: Out you two pixies go through the door or through the window!

2008-12-08T06:15:00.000-08:00

Apparently, it is rivalry week in Friar Country, an event so momentous that it nearly escaped by attention. As I intimated about a month ago, PC really lacks a truly consistent rival in ice hockey. The same is not true in basketball. The Dribbling Friars (which just sounds wrong, doesn't it?) have the University of Rhode Island Rams, a team that not only plays the Friars even, but who has a fan base that intensely dislikes PC and everything about it! Awesome! It also helps that - unlike with BC, BU, Brown, and UNH in ice hockey, PC has a winning record against Rhody and thus is the obstacle - a nice change from the hockey team.

It helps that PC fans actually acknowledge Rhody as a rival. This comment might be disputed by some Rams fans, I do get the impression that PC fans legitimately care about winning this game. While some arrogantly assume that PC should "always" win this contest, in reality I think most of us realize that this is going to be a tough contest (especially at the Ryan Center where URI never misses a 3 point shot). I don't think anyone really looks down on the Atlantic Ten to the extent where they think URI is a "gimme" - there are too many upsets in this series. Still no one at PC "hates" Rhody the same way they dislike UCONN, Georgetown, BC or Syracuse. And a quick trip to the Providence Journal message board (I wouldn't recommend it) will convince you that a sizable subset of Rhody fans are obsessed with PC and the renovation of the Dunkin Donuts Center to a level that makes the "Yankees Suck" phenomenon look entirely rational.

And on the opposite side of the coin, we have Brown hockey. Not only does no one at Brown seem to seriously hate PC hockey (which these days is like having a personal grudge against the Clippers), they don't seem to care about hockey, period. It's easy to see why. Brown has had precious little success since going to the Frozen Four in 1976. PC fans really don't hate Brown. In fact, I root for Brown when they aren't playing PC. So much for hate.

So we go from the irrational feelings on both sides of the PC/URI rivalry to the feeling of "meh" in ice hockey. So far, irrational wins over meh with PC taking out URI by one free throw on Saturday and the worst season in PC ice hockey continuing on Tuesday.

Rant of the Week: Not a creature was stirring... except for Mr. Hanky!

2008-12-05T06:09:00.000-08:00

As far as updates on my beloved Skating Friars, there aren't any. Literally nothing has changed in the past month. It's nice that the team put forth solid efforts in both third periods last weekend, but the result was still two 4-2 losses. One of these days, the team will put together these third periods into a 60 minute game and come up with their third win of the year.

What better time to get this win against winless Brown? The Bears have two less wins than PC, proving that the Friars might not be the most pathetic team in college hockey. Of course, the game is at Meehan Auditorium and will feature ECAC officials, making this an uphill climb. I've never seen a greater variety of insane, imaginary calls than the ones called against PC in ECAC rinks. It looks highly likely that the Mayor's Cup will be going back to Bruno in a game that no one - except a handful of people on both sides - really cares about any more.

The good news is that the Friday night game at Quinnipiac will be on NESN. All of New England will be able to see if PC can FINALLY get off the mat against the Skating Deer Ticks.

Random rants:

-Two things that cracked me up this week: Dave Hendrickson's annual Christmas column where Tim Army refers to Santa Claus as a "pantload" and MeanEgirl's entry on the MTU Blog that is basically Mr. Hanky's cousin. Misery can actually be really funny.

-Also, in the amusing category, yet another Dan Shaugnessy column where he not only jumps the gun, he launches himself into orbit. I'm very close to sending Charlie Chaplin to torch Mr. Shaugnessy's keyboard for this outstanding display of hubris. The Celtics are many things, but "invincible" is not one of them.
Notice the comments section - always a display of idiocy whenever it appears - is full of Portland Trailblazer fans talking smack about their "new" dynasty. Apparently, standards of dynasties have dropped precipitously when 14 wins in December constitutes a "dynasty". And this after people tried to deny the Pats had a dynasty after 3 Super Bowl wins in four years - mostly with logic that would have you laughed out of Socrates' classroom in Athens. If PC wins either the Brown or QU games, I'm declaring the Friars a legitimate dynasty! Go us!

-Hi Mark! and... best of luck!

Randomizer: Bing Crosby tap dances with Danny ****ing Kaye!

2008-12-03T10:19:00.000-08:00

Just some random comments while I sit here waiting to get a call from Bill Bellichick to play cornerback this Sunday.

-If you remember back to October, I was beyond frustrated with the tenor of the columns coming from our local sports media about how the Red Sox were going to be eating Tampa Bay's dust for the next decade - it not millennium. Well, that was merely a sideshow for all the "Patriots are finished!!!1!!11!" drivel we've been subjected to the past week. The focus on the Patriots should be on the shoddy secondary, the dropped passes and the special teams choking at inopportune times. Or, you could be completely lazy, say that the Pats are "over" as a relevant team in the NFL and commence the teeth gnashing and garment rending (as you secretly rejoice that you can now focus on Red Sox 24/7 and pray that a bus runs into KG and Tim Thomas so you can go back to exclusively covering the Red Sox again).

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

-The NHL really has some explaining to do: schedule wise, the Bruins are in the midst of a five game "vacation". While I'm sure the B's are happy for the impromptu holiday, it would have been nice to see them sooner after the win over the Red Wings on Saturday. Then we have Sean Avery suspended for referring to his ex-girlfriend as "sloppy seconds". Really. The NHL has long had this issue in dealing with goonery and cheap shots (why else wasn't Ulf Sammuelson not given a lifetime ban?) and now you're penalizing the most hated player in hockey for making a goofy and mildly inappropriate comment? Does that make an ounce of sense?

-The NBA also needs to figure something out: the Celtics have somehow committed an incredible 39 technical fouls in 19 games. That's 14 as many as the next team in the list. I've watched the C's play frequently this year and they don't strike me as a chippy team. In fact a recent article went into the nature of the technicals, and most of them are because the Celtics are (I can not believe this) overly exuberant. Isn't one of the positive attributes in sports displays of emotion? The NBA needs to stop following the lead of the No Fun League and back off on displaying emotion.

-Sadly, nothing has changed with the Skating Friars. Nothing. Meanwhile, PC basketball is disappointing everyone except those of us too jaded by the end of the Welsh era to muster any surprise at anything. The black cloud above the PC athletic department hasn't moved since Corey Wright missed a chance to send the 97' Friars to the Final Four.

-Hi Mark!

Things to be thankful for....

2008-11-26T06:25:00.000-08:00

Here are the things I'm thankful for:
Jenny
Family
Friends
A warm apartment
The mellowing of Charlie "the computer destroying cat" Chaplin
The fact that my car works (for the most part)
Having a job
Following successful sports teams (the current abhorrent state of PC hockey and Celtic's abysmal road form in Europe notwithstanding)
Early Christmas shopping
... and finally the three or four people who actually read this blog! Thanks, and keep up the comments!

Flotsam and jetsam:

- Um, Herald? “We’re the No. 1 defense. If we play like we’ve been playing, and our offense comes around and has a good game, and we’re clicking on all cylinders, we’re going to win the game.” How does this comment by Anthony Smith of the Steelers constitute "trash talk"? If the Steelers do indeed play up to their capabilities, they will win the game. That's not a trash talk. That's just patently obvious. I understand that Mr. Smith made an ass of himself last year, but this isn't even close to trash talk.
Shouldn't the Pats be desensitized to this silliness by now, especially after Joey "the Prince of the Land of Make Believe" Porter last week?

-There's radio, bad radio and the continued devolution of the Big Show. Last week, all of the Whiner Line (and really, shame of me for listening to the Whiner Line) was dedicated to one of the producers saying that he thought Nancy Pelosi was attractive. While the comment was certainly... insane, I can't help but note that in a sports climate where the Pats, Bruins and Celtics are all competitive - if not dominant - the Big Show is wallowing in politics. Again.

-The "Dead Zone" in the sports calender is usually the days before and after the MLB All Star Game. Well, New England went through it's own Dead Zone the past two days. While I appreciate that the Celtics and Bruins do need days off, the past two sports free days have been a bit odd. Especially since the Celtics play about a fifth of their schedule in November!

-Speaking of Celtic's baffling incompetence in the Champions League, while I'm unhappy with the 17th consecutive road game without a victory, I can't help but take solace in the phrases that get used in international football (soccer to the rest of you). Celtic didn't just lose out, they "Crashed out of Europe". I might have to use that from now on. For instance, PC is in the midst of crashing out of Hockey East.
It's probably a good thing there's no relegation in college hockey, or PC would be playing UMASS Boston and Middlebury next year.

Imagination and broohahas!

2008-11-24T07:09:00.000-08:00

"You've heard of the French nation? Well, this is the Imagi-nation!"
-Kris Kringle, A Miracle on 34th Street

Say this about Joey Porter, he has a healthy imagination. In his mind, he's already won 2 extra Super Bowl titles. I'm jealous: when I was a kid, they best I could imagine was owning a time machine! I'm just curious, in his fantasy kingdom, does he own a pony?

I know the Spygate flap generated a lot of goofiness, but is this true of other NFL players? Are there 300 people floating around the NFL all imagining they would have won multiple Super Bowl titles if only the Pat's hadn't used videotape? (because it's perfectly legal to use other methods of spying for some reason that will never - EVER - be explained to the general public. Yeah.)

Speaking of delusions, the Montreal Canadiens have somehow reached the rather bizarre conclusion that the team's some times somnambulant performances this year can be boiled down to one thing: Milan Lucic's refusal to fight Georges Laraque. Huh? Let's face facts - Lucic is a fun player. He can score goals, he can hit people and get under the skin of teams and he can certainly handle himself in a fight. But Laraque would kill him and apparently, the Bruins are aware of this and told Lucic not to fight Laraque on Saturday night. This is an amusing subplot. Unfortunately, it came back to bite Montreal in the rear as Lucic scored one of the goals that allowed the B's to earn an overtime shoot out "win" (I'm sorry, even when the Bruins "win" the shootout still sucks). So, not only are the Bruins 2-0-1 against a team they couldn't beat at all last year, but they now they're winning mind games against les Blue, Rouge et Blanc too.

I might be wrong about this - I haven't been alive for most of this one-sided rivalry - but isn't it usually the Bruins who are obsessed with "making points" and "dropping the gloves" and the Habs who go about actually winning the games? I know the Bruins were obsessed with winning fights against Montreal last year and their inability to get one win against les Habs last year proves this to be a poor strategy. So why is an intelligent franchise like the Canadiens buying into this circus sideshow? Am I missing something? Did the Canadiens establish their dynasty by scoring, defense, and goaltending, or were Rocket Richard, Jean Belliveau, and Guy LaFleur actually giant Hansenesque cementheads who pummeled everyone into submission? One of the criticisms against Laraque is that he doesn't do the requisite illegal hitting to initiate fights. Fancy that, he acts like a human being instead of a giant goon!

I'm not one of these people who wants to ban fighting from hockey, but the obsession with fisticuffmanship that the Habs are indulging in is at least as funny as Joey Porter and the Super Bowl rings he likes to look at while he rides his Pegasus over to Gum Drop Mountain.

Rant of the week: Inspecting the white flag

2008-11-21T06:16:00.001-08:00

There's probably little room for optimism if you're one of the dwindling amount of PC hockey fans who has had their hearts ripped out Mola Ram style by the awful start this team has had in Hockey East. Fortunately, I'm not stupid enough to argue that this ISN'T the worst season PC has had since the formation of Hockey East.

Let's look at the facts. The team is 0-6-1 and just blew their best chance of the season to get a win at home against a decent - but not spectacular - Maine team that spent all of last year in the basement. Coming up on the schedule is a UML team that might have some question marks, but that is certainly better than PC. Then we have the Skating Mother Theresas, playing at home in a place where PC never wins. Yeah, it looks bleak. It looks like PC is going to be 0-8-1 in the league and staring down a last place finish. And it's also entirely possible that this team will never win a game for the rest of the season. It's not LIKELY, but it could happen.

So at this point, I'm certainly not going to abandon the team. I've sat through my share of bad seasons. At most, I won't attend as many games - especially since I haven't seen this team win in almost 10 months (or close to it!). I'm not even going to call for Tim Army's head - yet. What I'm going to do is root for this team to get their heads out of their posteriors and not get too disappointed when it doesn't happen.

I look at it this way. I can acknowledge that the team has problems. But I'm not morally obligated to watch them struggle in each and every game. What I'd like to see happen is for the team to win a game in Hockey East. I want to see if this will lead to some confidence and maybe a modest winning streak. I don't think the Friars are a bad team: they just aren't playing well enough to win. They screw up too many offensive opportunities and give up too many scoring chances. And the special teams are awful. If the Friars can turn one or two of these things around, they MIGHT escape the basement. And that might entice a few of us back on the bandwagon. You've heard of cautious optimism? This is cautious pessimism.

Rant of the week:

-Again, on the trash talking: I sense people are stunned that the Patriots are not engaging in a war of words with mouthy idiot Joey Porter. Here's the thing: when your team wins by the margin the Dol-Frauds did the last time they were in Foxborough, you can talk all the trash you want. It's irrelevant because Miami won the game. I would have more of a problem with Mr. Porter displaying his vast lack of class had the Dol-frauds lost the game. Then, it's just pathetic. Besides, why get into a urinating match with a skunk?

-Hi Mark!

Trash talking and competence do not go hand in hand

2008-11-19T12:53:00.001-08:00

Knicks object to Celtics' trash talking

Are you kidding me? Are the Knicks the dumbest team in the NBA? You get beat by the defending NBA Champions playing WITHOUT Kevin Garnett and the first thing out of your mouths is that the Celtics are trash talking? Give me a break.

When you lose, then is not the time to complain about what the other team is saying about you. That would be the time to take a look in the mirror and find out what you need to do to NOT lose next time.

It's like when the losing team complains about running up the score or the "class" of fans or a "dirty hit". That's not the story. The story is, you lost.

Cripes, when did North American athletes start emulating whiny European golfers? I think trash talking is dumb, but stop trying to distract people from your ineptitude. If Brian Scalabrine is knocking down threes, you have a problem.

Quoi?

2008-11-18T12:44:00.000-08:00

I like hockey, but some times I really don't understand it. In particular, I'm not really sure what constitutes a penalty. I used to be able to make that distinction - especially in regards to some of the crap calls PC used to put up with nightly. Now I do not. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I don't understand hockey as much as I think I do. After all, I can't skate. It's easy to see how I could miss something that trained on ice official did not.

The idea that it's my fault for being uneducated about the finer nuances of the game - and a bit too quick to blame the officials for my team's lack of discipline - is a good one. But this hypothesis dies a quick death when the television broadcasters replay the penalty and I see NOTHING that would constitute a penalty. I'm not just talking about incidental contact or obvious diving by the opponent. I'm talking about players just brushing against one another and the color commentator making a remark that this is a "good call" that the official "had to make". I must be missing something, because for the most part, I don't see these penalties at all in real time or in instant replay.

See, here's the thing: I complain about officials no more or less than a deranged Tommy Heihnsohn. When they replay calls in the NFL, 9 times out of 10, it shows that the official made the right call. When they replay calls in the NBA, 9 times out of 10, the refs blew the call. Hockey used to be somewhere in the middle. Now, I'm completely lost: I try to be fair to officials and wait until I see a replay. The problem I'm having is that the, replay doesn't help anymore.

The two referee system that the NHL uses was recently filtered down to college hockey. This means two things (neither of them good): more penalties and more people in stripes accidentally getting in the way of the play. I think people would like to see hockey evolve into a more free flowing game. They just don't want to see 9,000 ticky tack basketball penalties that always seem to favor one team over another. This was driven home on the Friday game where PC's complete lack of offense and special team play was further muddied by a series of completely random calls. The same thing happened the next night when my wife and our mutual friend and I watched UML shut out UMASS. A seemingly random play would result in a penalty and I had no explanation as to why.

In the third college hockey game of the week, I thought I'd hit upon a plan to figure out these seemingly random calls once and for all. Fortunately, I get the Mega Sports Package From Hell on my cable package and I get the home games for the Golden Gophers. It was fortuitous that the Gophers were hosting MTU in a 2 PM matinee. And it was doubly fortuitous that the WCHA head of officials Greg Shepherd was in the booth with the two announcers. Or you would think that it was fortuitous. Even with the head of officials there, not only did the calls still seem to not make sense (with the exception of some complete stupidity on the part of the Huskies)but the explanations didn't jive with what I was seeing in the replays either. I think I'm doomed to never understand hockey officiating on any level. So let me apologize in advance to any officials for any complaining I might do in the next year or two. Obviously, I'm missing something.

One comment was telling: Mr. Shepherd was asked point blank if the extra ref and rules changes were made with consideration to the fans. He said no. Later on the broadcast, he amended his answer to say that if the rules changes had the desired effect (less stickwork, less clutching and grabbing and thus a more fluid pace), the fans would be a direct benefactor. Still, I just wonder if these rules designed to free up the offense work because the game is opening up or because the entire game is played in the power play. Just wondering...

Rant of the week: "Some people have REAL problems"

2008-11-13T20:30:00.000-08:00

I recently read on USCHO that Providence College had descended into the ranks of a Atlantic Hockey. While I'm as frustrated with PC's performance as the next person, I think that's a little harsh. So here's some teams that have done less than Providence College in recent history.

AIC: You know what stinks? When you're the worst team in D-I hockey. Every year.

Army: Everyone loves Army, but they've never won anything and their arch rival is a Canadian school. That can't be good.

Bentley: The Falcons play in a rink that makes Merrimack look like a palace. And it's about 3 miles away from the campus.

Sacred Heart: Distinguished mainly by the fact they have a player named "Bear Trapp".

UCONN: The Huskies are successful in pretty much everything else. But not men's ice hockey. Inexplicable.

Western Michigan: At some point in the past five years, something awful happened to this team and the fans never recovered. I have no idea what, but I did catch the third period of their game against Miami a few nights ago and the rink was EMPTY. I guess their coach got an extension recently. Lovely.

University of Alaska: Death, taxes, and the Nanooks doing nothing. They have a lovely rivalry with the Seawolves and that's about it.

Yale, Brown and Dartmouth: These three schools have long glorious histories and surprisingly little to show for it. Dartmouth and Brown have played for the national title. And lost. Yale won the 1998 ECAC regular season title. And seemingly nothing else. With Princeton breaking away from the pack and Harvard and Cornell weighed down by recent hardware, there seems to be a divide between the haves and have-nots in the Ivy League.

Quinnipiac: They've been THE program on the rise for about 5 years now. Without actually doing anything.

Union: The general impression I get from the fans of the Skating Dutchmen is that the AD is happy to be successful 40% of the time. Ow.

RPI: It seems odd to lavish any sympathy on the team that beat PC for the 1985 National Title, but the Engineers have been stuck in neutral for quite a while now.

Merrimack: They play in a rink that is basically a high school gym with a sheet of ice in the middle. They remain the only team in Hockey East to never play for the title.

Northeastern: 14 years without making the Hockey East semi-finals.

Bemidji, Niagara, Robert Morris, and Alabama Huntsville: Because the CHA is about to die.

Saint Cloud State: Sure, the Huskies have been a much more successful team than PC over the past decade or so, but 0 NCAA wins? That has to be frustrating.

Alaska Anchorage: Sometimes, playing in a really good league does nothing for you. UAA always seems to be an okay team, but they can't get out of the basement.

Yeah, this season has been brutal. But some perspective would be nice. This list certainly isn't exhaustive.

Random rants:

-How much fun is it to be a Bruins fan these days? 6-1 over Les Habitants? I can't even believe this.

-The Patriots are not winning the Super Bowl this year, and the culprit isn't Tom Brady's knee. It's defense. 31 points should be enough to win any game.

-I keep hearing about the Celtics and the "short window" they have to win another championship. All the more reason to enjoy the opening of this season.

-Hi Mark!

Tuesday randomizer

2008-11-11T06:39:00.000-08:00

A few random thoughts:

-Anyone depressed by the end of the Red Sox season (to a team that didn't win the World Series, no less) must be happy with the play of the other three teams in town (shame about the Revolution). The Pats are playing well despite picking up a season ending injury in every game and being down to their fourth string running back. The Celtics are proving that last season was not a fluke by streaking out a 7-1 record. The Bruins are playing fun, exciting hockey and getting great goal tending. This winter might be a lot of fun - save for the listless state of PC hockey.

-Speaking of the World Series, am I the only person who doesn't care that the ratings sucked? Why would anyone care about the ratings? Sorry Fox, that doesn't interest me at all? If there were entertaining baseball games being played, why would you care about ratings?

-I grow weary of the constant whining in college football whenever someone from outside a BCS conference puts together a season with one win or less. The "how dare" they attitude is so elitist it makes me glad that PC isn't fielding a football team. The main goal of a college football team is to win games: if a team from the Mountain West or Sunbelt or MAC or WAC is putting together a good season, they're not doing that to screw over whatever team it is in the Big 12 or SEC that the college football talking heads have fallen in love with that calender year.

I have no proof to back this up, but I've always gotten the impression with the amount of money big time boosters pump into these programs, college football's problems might actually dwarf the Tim Doneghy/Spygate/MLB and Olympic steroid scandals we've been dealing with over the past couple of years. Just a hunch.

-"The Big Show" used to be the best show on WEEI, mostly because with a rotation of a dozen or so hosts meant you weren't stuck listening to the same opinions all the time. Well, now it's just as bad as Dennis and Callahan, and the problem is once again politics. When will WEEI get it through their heads that when all of their hosts are waxing poetic about how awful Barrack Obama is that listeners will eventually start to tune them out? The post election whining from the Big Show (especially the two resteraunteurs they bring in for football season) has been the off the charts and the twits on the Whiner Line have proved to be just as bad. I can't wait to see what other programming gets ruined by this new, boring format!

-Speaking of formerly great radio: Mike Francessa talking to himself for 4 hours every day? Maybe I'm better off not getting that signal on the ride home.

-The shuttering of CN8 doesn't bode well for sports in this region on multiple levels. We can only hope the Emmy award winning John Carchedi ends up getting his due because he's awesome. There, I said it.

Rant of Week: PC's greatest rival?

2008-11-06T09:24:00.000-08:00

One of the great frustrations in being an alumni of Providence College is the lack of a true rival. Friar basketball fans might dislike UCONN, Syracuse and Georgetown, but all of those schools have more impressive rivals to feud with and - let's be fair here - PC can't beat any of them on a consistent basis. Except maybe UCONN, and that was only last year. Similarly, URI fans dislike PC with the fire of a thousand suns, but not even I would go out of my way to lavish a similar feeling on the Rams. So finding a basketball rival is a bit of a problem.

A similar situation exists in hockey. I thought I would go down the list of potential rivals. Here are the teams I'm eliminating right off the bat: UML (I actually like them), UMASS (not enough water under the bridge), Merrimack (last year notwithstanding), NU (too much in common), UVM (too new), and Maine (teetering towards complete irrelevance). This leaves the following four schools:

Brown: Bruno makes the cut because the over all series is pretty much dead even (I think the Bears have a one or two game lead) and the results of Mayor's Cup usually have nothing to do with the record of either team. There are several problems here. The first of which is that PC is not Brown's arch rival. That would be Harvard and that particular rivalry dates back to the 19th century. The second problem is that if you compare the strengths of the two programs, PC is out in front by a very wide margin. PC has more ECAC titles that Bruno, and they haven't been in the ECAC since 1984. Third, as horrible as the attendance is for PC home games (probably due to the LOUD SPEAKERS!) the attendance at Meehan is actually worse. That thought always give me pause. How can you lavish hate on a team with a smaller fan base than yourself? The only fans who even deserve a smidgen of dislike are the people in the band. Fourth, and most importantly, I like Brown. And I really shouldn't be able to say that about a rival.

New Hampshire: One of the main motivators for finding a team you hate is jealousy and it's easy to covet certain parts of the Wildcat's program. UNH has a much larger fan base, a lovely rink, a program that's always ranked in the top 10 and gets home ice every year, and a period of competence that dates back to the 70's. The problem with UNH is that "competence" doesn't quite equal dominance. The Wildcats have the smallest series lead of any of the teams PC plays in the Big Four. They also have LESS tournament titles than PC (four is greater than three) and have never won the national title either - even with many more Frozen Four appearances. The other problem is that the days of Kitty fans constantly complainng about how "dirty" the Skating Goons of PC are seem to be in the past. In fact, UNH's constant inability to win the national championship seems to have depressed the entire fan base. How can a team be a rival when their fan base is almost as unhappy as your own? And who in their right mind would want to get rid of Dick Umile?

Boston College: It's much easier to envy BC: better rink, larger fan base (although not as big as UNH), countless conference titles, a massive overall advantage over PC and three national titles. Yet, there's still plenty to dislike. The school considers itself a Football School, which means that as much as some of the fans really like hockey, most of them are more interested in football or even basketball. Also, the band plays "For Boston" about 90 times per game which puts them in the same category as Michigan (but still ahead of MTU and their catchy yet toxic Penalty Kill Ditty). The Eagles seem to enjoy nothing more than ruining my evening, which is an excellent reason to dislike them. The piece de resistance was last year when PC won the season series 2-0-1 against BC only to get drubbed in the playoffs. I hate it when that happens. BC also seems to have at least one completely unlikeable yet insanely talented (and usually diminutive) player on their roster each and every year.
It would seem that BC would be perfect as PC's rival. But there are a few problems. First of all, PC will never be considered a rival with BU around. And certainly not with the Eagles in the ACC. Superfans might take the Friars more seriously if they had a football team. Secondly, we have Jerry York. I have yet to find anyone in college hockey who doesn't love this guy: he's a great coach, a brilliant recruiter and he practically generates class. If the AD at the Heights ever loses his mind and fired Jerry, I will personally drive him to Schneider Arena.

Boston University: The Terriers are the most successful team in the east - nevermind Hockey East - so there's plenty to be jealous of an dislike. The huge fan base, the fantastic rink, the plethora of hardware and that meaningless tournament they keep winning. No team - not even BC - has done more to ruin the Friar's season as BU. If BU isn't actually beating them in the playoffs, they're dragging out the proceedings for two overtimes. It does help that BU has played PC in the playoffs more than any other team. So BU is an excellent choice, even if you disregard the hairy half naked men and Jackie Parker's voodoo mind hold on whatever official Hockey East cares to put on the ice.
But as always, we do have problems. BU has more enemies than any other team in college hockey: ALL of Hockey East, plus Harvard, Cornell, and - for some reason - Minnesota. Clearly, PC is not alone in disliking BU. But the BC rivalry is the biggest in the east - if not all of college hockey. The second problem is the near obsession that the team has with winning the Beanpot. Clearly, it's tough to take a rivalry seriously when your "rival" is looking forward to the first and second Monday in February.

I think that for PC fans, BU and BC are probably the two closest thing we have to "rivals", even if neither team would care to see PC in that light.

Random Rants:
-I'll keep it short... HI MARK!

Opie and Anthony Part Deux?

2008-11-04T13:12:00.001-08:00

D and C get called on "stunt".

This is why we ask that they stick to sports: the politics and "shock jock" silliness don't work for them. This reminds me a wee bit of the "Mayor Menino is dead" hijinks from years past.

Someone else agrees with me? What is this world coming to?

2008-10-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

Chad Finn on the "identity crisis of Red Sox fans.

Bonus points for referencing Rick Pitino's classic "this town sucks" outburst. It's right up there with Jim Mora and "Playoffs?!?!" and Allen Iverson opining about practice.

Rant of the Week: Hockey East does not suck

2008-10-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

The out of conference play in Hockey East has been very encouraging this year as compared to last year. For a while during the beginning of last season, the only Hockey East team with a winning record against non-conference foes was Merrimack (!!!). This year, there have been a few highlights:

- BU and UMASS taking care of North Dakota
-BC and UNH beating the Badgers on consecutive nights
-UNH throttling RPI
-UVM beating and tying Miami
-UML taking a game at East Lansing against MSU
-PC actually winning both non-conference games against teams they'd lost to in the last two years

Sure, there have been let downs: Merrimack managing only a tie against Canisius and Niagara, UNH's misadventure up at SLU, UML getting shut out by Colgate and NU's tie against the Nanooks. It's a bit early to say that the league is back, but the early results are encouraging. Last year, only BC and UNH made it to the NCAA tournament and the culprit was a weak record out of conference. Turning that around is the key to getting 3-5 teams in the Big Dance.

Random ranting:

-(It's actually working!) Hi Mark!

- I wish people would stop labeling the Phillie's five game victory over the Rays as the "worst World Series ever". It's just stupid: There were three close games, one titanic marathon in game three and the final game decided by one run. That doesn't sound like "the worst World Series ever". Really, what people are complaining about is the weather. The rain delay in game three and the suspension of game five were frustrating, but that's not MLB's fault. That would be the fault of Mother Nature. It's also preposterous to say that the World Series should now be played entirely in domes or at a "neutral spot". The format isn't the problem: the length of the season is the issue. When baseball decided it would be okay to have the season stretch to late October, did they actually think it would be nothing but Southern teams competing?

- As encouraging as the first two games of the Bruin's merry jaunt through northwest Canda were, the last game against the Flames left a nasty taste in my mouth. Simply put, the NHL's early season scheduling leaves a lot to be desired. The Bruins seem to start every season on an extended road trip (thanks to the bloody circus) following a span of weeks where they seem to play all of two or three games. And then we have the sadistic schedule that saw them play 3 games in 4 days. It's a wonder they didn't lose by more last night.

-In a similar vein, just as I was hoping to see the Celtics play at least once or twice before tonight, they have one game on Tuesday. Then, another game tonight. Why the three day gap? Did the circus come back?

-The Patriots are - for the second time in a month - entering into a game against a talented but desperate team. The Colts game is frighteningly similar to the San Diego game in a lot of respects. The good news is that - even if the Colts win - the Pats have acquitted themselves admirably enough that a 5-3 record is in no way disappointing.

The most wonderful time of the year...

2008-10-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

I'd just like to state - very briefly - the World Series is taking place at the same time as the NHL, NBA, and NFL are around. College hockey is going on and if I want to bond with my TV, there's college football on Saturday afternoons. And if I really want to watch sports, I get EPL games every Saturday and Sunday morning on the Fox Soccer Channel.

The fall does indeed rule.

Rant of Week: Huh? Speak up!

2008-10-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

I love Schneider Arena. I know, it's not the most aesthetically pleasing building in Hockey East, it doesn't have tremendous atmosphere, the sight lines leave something to be desired, most of the fan base tends to wander off to Clubbie's, Brad's, the Abbey or Louie at 9:00 PM and the games were a lot more visceral when the glass was shorter. Still, I have a lot of affection for the old barn and I'm not even half kidding when I say I want to be buried under center ice.

I do have to say that the building has one problem right now. One small detail that drives me and everyone else who has ever attended a Friar home game to distraction. It's a tiny, easily correctable fault that would take a short memo or five seconds worth of worth to correct. To whit:

THE VOLUME ON THE SPEAKERS IS TOO BLOODY LOUD!

The speakers are drowning out the band (and with an awful selection of music too. I dig Metallica, but some of the rest of the music is the awful emo "metal" you hear on WAAF). It's drowning out the fans when they try to make noise. It's driving people away who otherwise have no problem spending a night at PC hockey games. So why not fix this extremely easy problem? The other problems this rink might have (the team is mediocre, pools of water sometimes form on the ice at the end of the game, the refs don't like their dressing room (this sentiment and the fact PC so often get jobbed by bad calls can NOT be a coincidence!) are tough to solve. But the volume of the music in the arena?

Unlike a lot of blog entries, this is not just something that bugs me. This is something that bothers everyone I talk to, everyone sitting near me in Section E, every opposing fan, every PC fan online. So why isn't it fixed? As I said earlier, it can not be that difficult to adjust the volume of the speakers.

And if it doesn't get fixed, I'll probably still go to games. It will just be much harder to hear the anthem with the ringing in my ears.

Other Rants:
-Hi Mark!

-This election needs to end soon. My nightmares now begin with "I'm Barack Obama/John McCain and I approve this message". On a related note, I would like to exile John Sununu and Jean Shaheen to a small island in the South Pacific. Preferably one with the castaways from "the Minnow".

-The Rays are so unbelievably likable (except for Garza, who needs to stop spitting every five seconds. If I want to see that, I'll stare at Francona.) that you just know the Phillies are going to win this series. No one talked about them in the NLCS and here they are now.

-The Bruins are the only team that could improve to the point where they are - literally - winning or within a goal in every game and still not pick up more than one point per game because of Gary Bettman and his stupid bloody shoot outs. If the Maple Leafs win a shoot out tonight... sigh.

-Do you think Kevin Garnett has stopped ranting to himself yet? Or will he just continue from where he left off after Game Six? I'd like to see a debate between him and Papelbohn just so we can see who is more insane.

Red Sox post mortem

2008-10-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

So, I guess the big question this weekend is what went wrong? In truth, not a hell of a lot did go wrong. I'm usually the high priest of pessimism - especially in regards to the Red Sox who have caused me more heartache than any team not named the Bruins - but there wasn't a whole lot to complain about in general.

Basically, when you lose a seven game series in the ALCS, it's the little things that kill you. To whit:

In Game Two, Beckett was lifted too late into the game. The bull pen held the Rays scoreless until Francona waved the white flag by bringing in Timlin. Even then, the Sox had every opportunity to break the game open - they simply failed to come through with a clutch hit.

Games three and four were unmitigated disasters in every sense of the term. No chance.

In Game Seven, the Red Sox had the Rays on the ropes in the eighth inning and they couldn't tie the game. Again, no clutch hitting. Lester was fine and the bullpen did their job for the most part.

Summarized like this, it doesn't look like the Red Sox failed that badly. Francona made some odd decisions, but the blame doesn't lie solely at his feet. The problem for this team was injuries. Plenty of teams have injuries, but the Red Sox woes piled up at the end of the season. It would interesting to see how this series would have played out with healthy versions of Beckett, Drew, Papi, Lowell, and even Captain Blogosphere. That will never happen, but we have 6 months to wonder...

Realistically, this team was 3 runs away from the World Series, pushed a series to seven games despite an at times vastly superior foe and over came a lot adversity to even get to Game Seven. I'm not jumping off the Tobin Bridge and I'm not going to suggest Terry Francona jump either even though his refusal to pinch hit for Kotsay and Variteck in the ninth inning last night was positively insane. You can't win them all. And no, they don't get to the playoffs if they keep Manny who would have packed it in like he did in 2006 so enough of that crap.

As for the Rays, let me just say this to the Phillies. Good luck. You will need it.

(one final note, I'm mentally preparing for a "Defending Tito" entry to counteract the unending "Fire Fran-coma" silliness we'll be seeing later on this week. Beware.)

Rant of the week: Who are these guys?

2008-10-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here in Friar Country, we pride ourselves in not knowing what the hell to expect from our team from week to week. Or in some cases, day to day. A perfect example comes from the GLI Tournament least year where the Friars were lost against the Wolverines one night and took out the defending national champion Spartans the next. Who would have predicted that (aside from the Michigan and MTU fans who spent the rest of the night high fiving me)? The Friars are an awful team to predict because they have no consistency. The team radically shifts in quality for year to year and some times even night to night. This was as true in the 60's as it is now. If you notice the banners at Schneider Arena, the Friars fielded great teams in 1978, 1981, 1983, and 1985. What happened to the Friars in 1979, 1982, 1984 and 1986? I have no idea.

Then we get to teams I did follow. I do know that the 1997 Friars had goal tending issues that prevented them from repeating. I know that the offense of the 1999 Friars did not translate into 2000 and the 2002 Friars were quite possibly the most underachieving team in the history of the universe. I'm still not sure what happened that year. The team is an enigma.

This is why I find Hockey East predictions so comical - nobody can ever figure out Providence College. The Friars either finish 5 positions lower than they're supposed to or 3 or 4 positions higher. You might as well use a dart board. PC isn't alone in this: Northeastern is impossible to predict. UMASS vacillates just as insanely as Providence. Even BU has had season where they were supposed to do something and finished in eighth place, or they were supposed to finish in fifth place and they win Hockey East. The only mortal locks are that BC will be good and Merrimack will be in the basement and UNH will botch the post season. Anything else is conjecture. Hockey is a bizarre game. A goaltender can get hot, an offense can go cold, or a ref can make a strange call and all the predictions are for naught.

Complicating matters for the Friars is the fact that no one has seen them play yet. The only thing we have to judge this team on is the influx of freshman, the departures of Jon Rheault, Cody Wild, and (most importantly) Tyler Sims. The Huskies are supposed to be good and Bowling Green is supposed to be much improved. But barring that, I have no idea what to expect this weekend from the Friars except for this: we will finally figure out who these guys are.

More random thoughts:

- Hi Mark!

-One thing I do know this weekend. The Patriots are going to get CLOBBERED. They never beat the Broncos, and the team has looked lost since the Super Bowl. Someone needs to get some electrical shockers on the defense. Matt Cassel has been poor, but the defense is the real culprit for the Patriots sucking.

- No idea what to make of Game Six in Tampa Bay. It's almost a relief to get away from Fenway after the bludgeonings in Games Three and Four. The Sox can NOT keep spotting the Rays 5 run leads.

Or maybe...

2008-10-17T06:19:00.000-07:00

... I'll just see you on Saturday.

DOH!

Please...

2008-10-16T20:06:00.000-07:00

... don't hurry back to spring training.

I certainly don't want to see you back for a long time.

Appalling

2008-10-15T06:20:00.001-07:00

No, not the Red Sox play this week, although that has been atrocious enough. I'm talking about the reporting by our beloved sports press which has been the equivalent of rubbing salt in the wounds.

First off are the nimrods who pronounced the Rays dead after Game One. Why would you ever write that in a seven games series?

Secondly, we have the people who stubbornly cling to the idea that the Red Sox are going to make a miraculous comeback. They aren't. The team can't hit or pitch. They could not beat the Kansas City Royals at this point. Injuries and awful luck have taken their toll. The Sox would be just as screwed even if they had won Game Two. This team - as currently constituted can NOT win three games in a row. They were lucky to win ONE game. It doesn't just seem like it's over, it is.

Thirdly, someone needs to criticize the team. I either see people praising the Rays to the high heavens or glossing over the fact the team is playing poorly. Some one needs to come out and say it. The Red Sox absolutely suck. Many of these wounds are self inflicted. If you can't hit or pitch, you can not win, period. Francona would be better off suiting up the Lowell Spinners.
I have a theory that when you get blown out, half of it is your own damn fault. This is not college or high school where there is a massive talent discrepancy. Yes, the Rays have played well, but they played well in the first and second games, both of which were competitive. If the Red Sox play well, the games will be competitive. If not, you get annihilated.

The article that really set me off this morning was Bob Ryan's piece on why the Rays are unbelievably awesome. While I'm certainly not in the position to argue that point right now, he goes on to say that the Rays are the team of the future and we should all get ready for them to be a power for years to come. I enjoy Bob's writing and I think he might be the best sports writer in Boston. But did he suddenly forget the great young players on the Red Sox who helped them win the WORLD ****ing SERIES last year?

Is that basically what it comes down to? We should just give up because Team Awesome will be around forever and ever? Great, I'm going to stop rooting for the Red Sox and reading the Globe, and I'll encourage the rest of my friends to do the same because we are now powerless before Cowbell Nation (maybe I should trademark that!) and watching baseball is futile. They should just call themselves the Tampa Bay Borg. And when the Red Sox fans disappear and the Globe is out of business at least Bob will be right.

Just taking things to their logical conclusion.

Oh my God, the sky is falling!

2008-10-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

Argh! Argh!

(don't we go through this EVERY time the Red Sox make the playoffs?)

More randomness while I wonder why the cat has been so mellow lately...

2008-10-10T12:45:00.000-07:00

... I think he's planning something. Seriously.

-College hockey season begins! I'll have to update The Coffin Online some point this weekend. I'm not in a hurry of course: PC opens with Northeastern next week. Only the Ivy's start later, it seems. Best of luck to our Hockey East co-horts, especially UMASS and BU who take on UND and MSU in the Icebreaker this weekend.

-Maybe Charlie Chaplin is saving himself for Dan Shaugnessy? This attempt to irritate Tampa Bay fans was kind of predictable. In fact, it's way too much like his 1997 offering as the Whalers were about to move. Get ready, Charlie.

-Speaking of Shaugnessy's latest atrocity, why are Rays fans talking trash about things that haven't happened yet? Did Marty McFly loan them a flux capacitor?

-Dice-K starts tonight for the Red Sox. This means that for half the game, Red Sox fans need to find something else to do. Just throw strikes. Please?

-If the Patriots/Chargers game doesn't hold that much interest, why all the columns about how it's not holding that much interest? The fact that people curious as to why people aren't paying attention means that people are paying attention. Did I make anyone's head explode?

-This Halloween, I want to go out as Craig Sager. Where do you get a bright orange blazer?

-Nice win by the Bruins, especially considering their defense was invisible most of the night and neither the Versus announcers nor the officials could figure out there were two teams on the ice. See, I'm in mid-season form all ready!

The loser mentality and you: Just say "no!"

2008-10-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

Way back in 1996, I had an RA who was a die hard fan of the Yankees (and the Cowboys, Celtics, Fighting Irish, and... HARTFORD WHALERS?!?!?). He was a great RA and an all around good guy despite the fact that he rooted for the baseball equivalent of Satan. Once, just to infuriate most of the people around him, he described the Red Sox fans as embracing a "loser mentality". For the past 12 years, I thought he was just insulting us and I took it as a throw away line. But now I'm starting to understand what he was talking about.

Why is it so many Red Sox fans are unwilling - or unable - to embrace a team that actually wins? It makes no sense. You root for a team in hopes that they finally win a championship. Too many idiots in the fan base and the general media (especially - for some inscrutable reason- the Sox-centric Globe) have recoiled from the Sox because they're too successful. My question is why.

It's not like New Englanders are afraid of success in sports. No one gave up on the Orr/Esposito era Bruins when they won Stanley Cups. They became more popular. The Russell era Celtics didn't start out popular, but they got more and more popular as they started hording titles. The Patriot's burst of popularity started with the hiring of Bill Parcells drafting Drew Bledsoe in 1993 and despite some lows at the end of the Pete Carroll era, they've maintained a decent level of popularity even after the disasters of the past couple of years. Anyone jumping off the bandwagon because Spygate or the Brady probably doesn't care about football to begin with, but at least they aren't scared off by success. The Patriots were every bit as incompetent as the Red Sox were before 2004 (add pre 08' Celtics and the current Bruins to that mix). And on a college front, I don't see a lot of UCONN basketball fans or BU, BC and Maine hockey fans complaining that their teams are too successful. So why Red Sox fans?

Let's take a look at some of arguments why we shouldn't root for the Red Sox:

"The Red Sox have become the Yankees"- What does this even mean? Are they wearing pinstripes? Are they playing Sinatra after every home game? Despite the fact that they're the Yankees and we all hate them, what is it that the Yankees do that is egregious? Spend money? Win a lot? Oh shame on the Steinbrenners for trying to win! Don't they realize that the main point of owning a team is to underachieve and impress other fanbase by your "classy" refusal to win. Do we really hate the Yankees that much that we don't want to win 26 championships?

Does anything say "loser" more than hating the Yankees more than you like the Red Sox?

"The Red Sox buy championships"- Not only does this betray a comically insane view of capitalism (professional sports teams shouldn't spend money? They should pay players using the barter system?) but it also displays a breathtakingly ignorant view of Red Sox history. When Tom Yawkey's underachieving teams were referred to as "country club " teams, it wasn't just because they were lily-white. It was because Yawkey foolishly spent on high priced veterans who couldn't deliver. Bad news people: the Red Sox had the highest payroll in baseball for years, and couldn't get within sniffing distance of a pennant. That happened 50 years ago. To pretend that the Sox have always been a plucky yet cheap small market team is beyond stupid.
Spending money is no guarantee of success: ask the Yankees, Mets and Tigers, all of whom have higher payrolls than the Red Sox. Meanwhile, the Marlins, A's, Twins, Cardinals, Rockies, and Rays all make deep post season runs with payrolls a fraction of the Yankees. Money buys you nothing if not invested wisely. Rather than crediting the Red Sox with spending wisely, the critics imagine that they're buying a title. You can't.

"They don't feel like my team. I miss Ted Williams/Yaz/Manny, etc."- They wear the same uniform and play home games at Fenway Park. Of course they're your team. Why don't they "feel" like your team? And bad news, everyone. Yaz isn't playing. He hasn't played since 1983. I don't see George Scott, Dom Dimaggio, Bill Lee and Dwight Evans out there either. Someone alert the authorities! Strangely enough, baseball players don't play baseball their entire lives. Some times they get traded or - in the case of Manny - attempt to destroy everything around them until we have no choice in the matter. It's a fact of life.

"I can't stand Red Sox Nation/Wally/the Pink Hats/et al"- Then don't pay attention to them. I admit, these things are annoying. But I don't ALLOW them to take away from my enjoyment of the game. The same goes for people who can't stand Neil Diamond, the Dropkick Murphies or the Standells. I've somehow learned to deal with the fact that the classic rock station plays "Hotel California" 72 times a day and so can you! Are so many Red Sox fans that mentally weak?

"The fans annoy me"- The fans annoy me too. I root for the team. Not the fans. We just happen to all root for the Red Sox. By the way, Boston fans have always been this annoying. We just notice because there are more of them. Success means the fan base gets bigger which means there are more chances to annoy you.

"the Rays are more like the Red Sox"- There are a bunch of teams that remind me of the Red Sox. The White Sox are kind of like the Red Sox since they're named after hosiery! The Cubs have that "will we ever win?" desperation the Sox used to have. The Indians and Braves have similar uniforms. The Mets pre-playoff collapses usher in delightful memories of 1991 and 2006. Kevin Millar plays for the Orioles which makes them kind of like the Red Sox in that the Red Sox used to have Kevin Millar on their team.
This is such an inane argument that it beggars the imagination. This is like rooting for the Brewers because I really liked "Mr. Belvidere".

"I can't afford to go to games at Fenway"- Then don't. Support the team by listening to the radio, watching NESN, or even going to sports bar to watch them play. I haven't gone to a Bruins, Celtics, or Patriots team in years and I don't feel like my experience as a fan has been lessened in any way. It's not like I can hop a plane to Glasgow every Saturday to watch the Hoops play...

In summation, if you want to stop rooting for the Red Sox, I can't stop you. But I can at least point out that you're arguments are idiotic and being addicting to losing is foolish. Just say "no" to the loser mentality and embrace a team. Even if they win.

Sox/Rays Preview

2008-10-08T06:53:00.000-07:00

I was going to do another lazy "Random thoughts" blog entry, but I decided against it. And there will be no entry on the Pats/49ers game because I heard most of it on the radio. Sorry.

At any rate, most people are picking the Rays to win the ALCS for two reasons:
1. The Rays won the AL East and the season series.
2. Everyone hates the Red Sox and their fans. Way to stay objective, US sports media.

Here's my take:

Batting: Advantage Rays. This would be different if Mike Lowell was healthy and the last 3 batters in the order ever did anything (well, aside from Jed Lowrie winning game four, of course). As long as the Rays keep having a different person hit two home runs a game, I have to give them the edge.

Starting pitching: Slight advantage to the Sox, mostly because John Lester is untouchable in the playoffs, so far. Beckett isn't nearly as good as he was last year and Dice-K is as much fun as a prostate exam, but he keeps winning. The Rays have an excellent staff, but Lester puts the Sox over the edge.

Defense: Slight advantage Rays. They don't make spectacular plays, but they make the ones they need to. I like the Red Sox defense a lot (they don't lose much when they switch Youk to third base and Kotsay/Casey to first), but the Rays seem more dependable.

Bullpen: Advantage Rays. Simply put, the Rays are masters of winning close games in late innings and the reason is that their bullpen has been superb. For the Sox, Papelbon has been fantastic so far and Okajima has rebounded from a bad sophomore season, but they aren't nearly as dependable as Tampa Bay.

Managers: Advantage Red Sox. Would someone please tell the nimrods who infest ESPN, WEEI and the Herald nuthou- er, comments section, that "Francoma" has two world series titles? They were wrong about Belichick and Doc Rivers. Dare you go zero for three?

Intangibles: Push. On one hand you have the defending World Series champions who seem to find a way to win. On the other, you have a team that just never goes away and seems to embrace their role as the "scrappy underdog." I don't think the "Trop" is a negative: for all the talk about how tiny Tampa Bay's fan base is, it hasn't affecting them so far. I'm sure those awful cowbells are murder on opposing teams, no matter how many people show up. And the Red Sox are terrible in domes. On the flip side, I can't imagine too many people want to play against the Red Sox at Fenway, especially since the Yankees imploded in 2004.

As you can see, we're pretty much even. I'd expect this series to go seven and if that happens, the Red Sox have a decent chance of advancing because they've been there before. The caveat is that "inexperience" hasn't caught up to the Rays yet and sitting around waiting for them to fall apart might be as futile now as it was a month ago.

Random thoughts from the happily married...

2008-10-03T13:13:00.000-07:00

-One last (or at least I HOPE it's the last time I have to go through this!) comment about Bill Simmons crusade against Scott Boras and the Boston media: is WEEI too stupid to realize that they're playing right into the man's hands? The rumors of Simmons attempts to burn all his bridges at ESPN have been swirling throughout the summer and it looks like the Sports Guy is tugging at the cape of the Red Sox Cabal (Globe/Herald/NESN/WEEI/WRKO) by suggesting that Manny wasn't 100% to blame. While I don't buy all of his premise, the Boston media has a reputation of running players out of town and/or bad mouthing them when they leave (Mo Vaughn, Roger Clemens, Joe Thornton, and others). And Boston has a reputation of being inhospitable to non-white athletes. As Manny's trade was a result of his awful behavior (with prodding from Satan Boras, no doubt), I don't think it was racial motivated. It just makes the move look much worse to outsiders.
At any rate, Simmon's ideas do have merit. Whether or not he's 100% accurate, is under debate. The idiots at WEEI who chose to slam him for "defending" Manny - and let's be fair, the Sports Guy comes off as a fan boy of massive proportions - are making his point. Why no one is seriously pursuing the Boras angle is beyond me.

-The Charlie Pierce article I linked to last week generated some of the usual idiotic comments. I was surprised to see many of the nitwits who infest the Herald's comments section have infested the Globe - the great Satan of the "oppressed" MA conservative - as well. I admitted that Mr. Pierce went a bit too far with his anti-Republican sentiment. The problem is that Curt Schilling is just as guilty of inserting politics into everything. Both Charlie Pierce and Curt Schilling should be taken to task for inserting politics into sports, but Mr. Pierce is less guilty because he's REACTING to some of the crazy things he sees on 38Pitches. Does Curt realize he plays for a team in a Blue State? Why antagonize the people who adore you by running around acting like the Giant Forehead? It makes no sense and that was Charlie Pierce's argument. He doesn't have to vote for Obama, but he should at least try not to insult people who do yet root for the Red Sox.
I would say the same thing about Hollywood liberals, but they can't throw a decent curveball.

-And as an added bonus, if Curt and Charlie can post their messages, and commentators who dropped fully formed from the Pink Hamster's anus can post their comments, then I can insult all parties. That's the First Amendment.

-Al Davis used to be kind of a joke. Now he's a complete joke. I don't doubt that he had good reason to gong Lane Kifflin. But why bring up a tampering charge against the Pats 1 year later? Only ESPN and their attendant twits in Hater Nation are buying this. Caveat emptor.

-Let's see: the Mets disintegrate, the Cubs are awful in the playoffs and the Angels can't beat the Red Sox (well, up until this evening, I suppose). Is it still 2007?

-I understand nothing can be done about this, but I absolutely hate the fact that the circus is always in town during the first two weeks of the Bruin's season.

Last word on Manny (for a while)...

2008-10-02T10:52:00.001-07:00

The Sports Guy (gasp!) gets it right

I don't often give Bill Simmons credit, but he is right on this issue. Scott Boras has a LOT to answer for. Or, Manny is bi-polar. Either explanation works.

I particularly like the snarky comment about the Globe/NESN/WEEI/WRKO regurgitating the company line. Tee hee.

I apologize for the lack of snark here, but as a married man, I have to start acting like a grown up. (kidding!)

Good things other people wrote

2008-09-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

Charlie Pierce's take on Curt Schilling's massive ego

So, over looking the cutesy jokes, inveterate Republican bashing and bizarre French phrases, Mr. Pierce is - once again - right on the money. Someone really needs to take away Curt Schilling's blogging rights before he completely implodes. Or he gets into a pistol duel with Manny or Kobe Bryant or whoever Curt is trashing this week. Sometimes, you really don't want to know what your favorite athlete thinks.

And I enjoyed the gratuitous shot at Dennis and Callahan. The closer we get to the election, the more I avoid them. But you could have guessed that anyways, right?

Patriots Week 3 in Review:

2008-09-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

Let's see: what did the Pats do right in Week Three.

Kickoff returns.

That just about does it. They failed in just about every conceivable category. The offense was bad but the defense was much worse. You would think that they would eventually figure out that Ronnie Brown was going to get the ball in that bizarre shotgun formation that the Dolphins ran 6 times. Nope. Both of the offensive and defensive lines were awful, the linebackers were invisible and the secondary let Chad ****ing Pennington pass at will. Just an awful awful game from every conceivable standpoint.

The team has a lot of work to do. Many people are trying to pass this game off as an aberration. That might be true. The problem is, that it's just as likely that this is the culmination of the team taking a nose dive that started during some of the closer games last year and continued through the pre-season and first three weeks. It will be interesting to see what kind of team will take the field against the 49ers next Sunday.

Other thoughts:

-Why the kerfuffle over the fans booing the Patriots? The way they played, I can't understand any other reaction. I don't think "years of goodwill" or being a "spoiled" fan base has a thing to do. If the team plays awful, they deserve what they get. This is just as moronic as the on going bellyaching over how the Red Sox "over-celebrate". Excuse me? Why is this an issue? They're having fun. LET THEM. Gee, it didn't seem to affect them last year. Similarly, let the fans do what they want. As long as they aren't endangering players, swearing like sailors, or lighting themselves on fire, they should be allowed to express themselves.

-The NFL's power structure this year is awesome: the only teams that look good right now play in the NFC East. The rest of the league is a complete mess. The Steelers looked good for two weeks, then get beaten by the Eagles. The Bills might be the best team in the AFC, but they have trouble with the awful Raiders. And weren't the Jet's supposed to challenge for the AFC East title this year? Whoops!

-Patriots haters last year overindulged themselves with talk of * this and * that. The way this messed up season is going, everyone is going to have an *.

Failure!

2008-09-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

Well, that was painful. The Tampa Bay Rays have not technically clinched the AL East, but with a 2 game lead and the tie-breaker, this part of the post-season race is just about over. Without harping too much on how bad the Sox looked, credit must be due to the Rays who looked phenomenal after getting squashed on Monday.

But since this is a Red Sox-centric blog, we'll focus on how lousy the Red Sox looked in this series. No offense and yet another bull pen implosion on Tuesday. Little offense and horrific starting and relief pitching yesterday. Eek. Fortunately, there are a few more weeks to go because the team looked awful last night. Then again, they looked pretty abysmal last week and they turned around and took 3 out of 4 from the charging Blue Jays to get back in the race. Here's hoping that the same trend holds this time around. It is a good thing the playoffs do not start today.

More failure:

-Planet Mikey on WEEI. Does anyone involved in this show realize that Jason Bay is now the left fielder for the Red Sox? I listened for 20 minutes on Tuesday, and I thought I'd entered a time warp.
-The Red Sox bullpen. This has been a problem all season. It didn't ease my troubled mind when Papelbon almost coughed up the lead to Toronto on Sunday. With a better bullpen, the Red Sox are WELL ahead of Tampa Bay.
-The Big Show. Why would you irritate the 80% of your audience who plays fantasy football by bashing it? When did it become open season on Boston sports fans in BOSTON?
-Dane Cook day in Boston. Why? Just... why?
-Joey Porter. Let's see, you play for what was the worst team in football last year. And now you think the Patriots will be an easy win? Are you also in a time warp? What do you think about Manny?
-The Red Sox post game show on Tuesday. The game was tied going into the ninth. That's not a gutsy "come from behind win". That's one bullpen being better than the other.

Meanwhile, at Fenway Park...

2008-09-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

Now that I've talked about the Patriots in 3 consecutive posts, here are some random thoughts about the Red Sox:

-Whatever the problem is with Papelbon needs to be solved now. The last inning of the series finale against Toronto was nightmarish only if you hadn't seen Paps implode against the Rays earlier in the week. Consider that the Red Sox would be tied for first had that not occurred. Since Tampa Bay is genetically predisposed to play tight games in late innings, this might come back to haunt the Red Sox again.

-This might be one of the better American League playoff fields in recent memory: a pain in the arse Rays team that doesn't understand they should be here, a frightening White Sox team that is cruising to the finish line the way they did in 2005 when they won the World Series, the unbelievably dominant Angels and the defending World Series Champions. Now watch the NL team win anyways - remember the 2006 Cardinals?

-Speaking of the Rays, the bandwagon I warned about earlier in the year never materialized. How on earth do you not get behind a team in first place that wins seemingly every close game they play in? It makes very little sense to me. If this happened in any other major league city, the place would sell out in EVERY single game.

-I hate to say this about someone who has been a stalwart with the Red Sox for many years, but Timlin shouldn't be coming out the bullpen in a tight game.

-Yes Jenny, it is nice to see Mike Lowell back.

-As annoyed as I usually am with the Yankees, they make great spoilers, don't they?

-I want to caution everyone not to get too excited: Yes the Red Sox look like a good bet to get to the post season. But if they can't beat Tampa Bay at all this week (and they haven't won a game at the Trop ALL SEASON), there is the chance of the Twins getting up off the mat and getting to within 3-4 games. Just a warning.

-For the record, Overbay was safe. I still think Toronto was toast after losing 2 games, never mind three.

-Would I rather have the division or the wild card? I'll take a playoff appearance any way you can get them - especially since there are no "easy" teams in this field. I suppose it's more "sexy" to win the division, but after the playoffs begin, who really cares? Okay, I'll take the division.

-It was premature to say this in July, but I'll say it now: the Rays are a legitimate threat to get to the World Series. I still think the Red Sox can take them in a seven game series, but the Sox have to get there first.

-Is this the year the Cubs finally win it all? And will people ever stop asking this question every year?

Patriots Game Review Week Two...

2008-09-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

With the exception of the three Super Bowl wins, this is the sweetest win I can remember as a Patriots fans. So many people can pretty much bite me this evening:

-The New York press who was all but begging for Belichick to be publicly executed after the Jet "embarassed" the Patriots. How did that turn out?
-Jets fans who started chanting 18-1. How does 4-12 sound? Because if this is the best you can do, you'll be headed back there.
-The Pink Hamster. This "loser" in a Bruschi jersey enjoyed every moment of this. Stick to mooning over your sticky Sarah Palin photos and leave the football commentary to people who like sports. If you wanted to "shoot your way out" of your WRKO contract by bashing WEEI, you failed. Again.
-Shaugnessy - the Curly Haired Boyfriend - who started this nonsense by saying the Pats would make the Super Bowl. Just please. Stop. No more.
-Everyone on ESPN who - without exception- picked the Jets. Take my advice to Shaughnessy and just give up. I can't predict anything and apparently neither can you.
-The Patriots "fans" jumping off the bandwagon after the Brady injury. You're not fans. Go away. And leave the Red Sox and Celtics alone as well.
-The walking turds on the Herald message board - especially the Howie Carr apologists (just leave the state already), the idiot Jets fans, and the twits who said Brady "deserved" his injury because he wasn't faithful to Bridget Moynihan. What the hell does that have to do with sports? Talk about failure on a titanic level.

So now that my immature trash talking is over, the Pats find themselves matched up with a horrible Dolphins team next week. It seems easy, but the Pats struggled against a miserable Chiefs team and a massively over-hyped Jets team. Not to mention the fact that Pats were clueless on offense up until the touchdown drive in the third quarter. Eventually, Cassel and Randy Moss have got to get on the same page. I was pleasantly surprised by Lamont Jordan - I'd like to see more of him - and the defense got MUCH better in this game. Only Brett Favre's creativity kept the Jets moving. The special teams had a great game as well. It looks like this team is moving in the right direction despite the obvious lack of a Tom Brady.

"The Enemy is Us."

2008-09-10T12:08:00.001-07:00

So the one thing about the Herald's latest Anti-Patriot atrocity that bugged me the most is the recent trend that seems to be popping up more and more frequently among the Three Horsemen of Boston's Sports Media (the Herald - plague, WEEI- war, and the Globe - boredom) is the concept that Boston sports fans are idiots. While listening to WEEI would give you that impression, I would counter than most Boston fans are normal people with normal lives who have jobs and families to worry about. These people aren't obsessed, but they do like Boston sports teams. For some reason, the general perception of sports fans in Boston are obsessive twits in multi-colored Red Sox hats who have plastered their mom's basement with "Yankees Suck" paraphernalia and couldn't find the letter "R" if you branded it on their forehead. I have yet to meet one person like that who wasn't a character in an awful Jimmy Fallon movie. ESPN latched onto this image for dear life when the Red Sox dared to win another World Series. We make great villains.

Yet, this bizarre characterization didn't start nationally. It started when Glenn Ordway began to refer to Big Show listeners as guys calling from their parent's basement. It then transfered to Pete Sheppard referring to people he didn't agree with as "turds" or "burger flippers", Ted Serandis screaming "I'm only human!", DeOssie and Smerlas practically challenging people to fights, and the utter disdain Dennis and Callahan have for everyone in creation. Soon, WEEI became a bizarre spectacle of a group of hosts who acted like they didn't like sports fans - or in some cases, even sports themselves. It reminded me of those Guns and Roses concerts where Axl would insult the audience and then stomp off. The difference was, this was happening daily.

Now we have four incidents in the past year where the Boston Herald tried their best to antagonize Patriots fans: the blatant New York Post rip off that was "Bellicheat", the sourceless Tomase article, the aforementioned Tony Massarotti abomination and the recent mind vomit from the Pink Hamster - who isn't even a sport columnist. Why would the Herald - which isn't exactly rolling in dough - going out of their way to anger Boston sports fans? It doesn't make a lot of sense, especially when none of these stories had a thing to do with "facts".

I'm starting to get the impression that with all the movement in the print media, a lot of people are trying to get "promoted" to other markets or end up at ESPN. What better way to impress the brass in Bristol than trashing the new Satan of American sports, the Boston sports fan?

The point isn't that Boston sports fans are wonderful and great at everything. We're not: a recent caller on WEEI didn't know that games in the AFC East counted as much as games outside the division and I have a bad feeling he wasn't alone. The point is that you can't trash your audience forever and get away. Or at least you shouldn't be able to.

One of these days, someone will kindly explain to me when we stopped being customers and started to be the enemy. And the better question is, why do we tolerate it?

Charlie: you've got some explaining to do, sir!

2008-09-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

Whiny Patriots fans?

Do I even need to read the latest atrocity from our friend at the Herald to tell that it's not for my consumption? No, I really don't. I guess it's been a slow week for public employee hacks, Whitey Bulger news and GOP apologizing if Captain Tedium is going after the fans of the New England Patriots. Charlie Chaplin is a bad kitty for not destroying his computer months ago.

Of course, this is nothing new from the Herald who strayed severely from their "We Love the Pats" coverage (which used to be a nice change from the Sox obsessed Globe)drastically with their "Bellicheat" cover, John Tomase's imaginary St. Louis Rams walkthrough story, and Tony Massoratti's ill conceived story about losers in Tedy Bruschi jerseys. The hits just keep on coming.

Meanwhile, Bob Ryan says this better than I ever could. Come back off the ledge people. The Sox are 1.5 games out of first, and the Pats season hasn't ended. Yet.

Patriots Week One in Review

2008-09-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

Well the bad news is that with Tom Brady out for the year, there's probably no way this team will win the Super Bowl.

The good news is that without having to worry about hurting the opposing teams' "feelings" by running up the score, the Patriots now have to worry about winning football games.

Last season was not an enjoyable season by any stretch of the imagination. Ignoring the overwrought spectacle that was "SpyGate", we had a team that seemed more interested in setting records and not losing than they were in winning. Even winning the Super Bowl wouldn't have changed how off putting the season had become. All of that is now out the window. Regardless of how well Matt Cassel plays under center, it will now be much harder to win games. The Pats will have to use their defensive skills and balance the run with the pass more than they had to last year.

Week one doesn't really tell you a lot. I very much doubt that the Chargers, Colts and Browns will be anywhere near as incompetent as they looked on Sunday. I also very much doubt that the Pats will be unable to compete with the Bills (who looked good on Sunday) or the Jets (whose victory over the Dolphins was suspiciously similar to the one the Pats had over the Chiefs).

Despite the mewling from the media, the road is not impossible. It's just about 10 times more difficult. Lost in the hubbub over Brady's knee was two awful fumbles by wide receivers and a maddeningly inconsistent secondary. I have a feeling these might be just as costly as Brady's departure in the long run.

Why the NFL is the most popular league in the US

2008-09-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

As a recent poll on ESPN reminded me, there really is no contest any more as to which is the most popular league in this country. It's the NFL in a walk. Now, while I might think that the end of the baseball season is more important, most people feel that any NFL game is really much more crucial. I would disagree with this, given that not even going undefeated in an NFL regular season guarantees you anything (apparently), but I'm in the minority. Here are my theories as to why the NFL reigns supreme.

Vegas: At some point in the past 15 years, Las Vegas stopped being the place where sketchy people left their money and people dressed like Elvis and started becoming Mantown USA. Everybody now knows at least one guy who had his bachelor party in Vegas. Apparently, there's nothing more testosterone laden than blowing half your life savings in a game of poker where you're WAY over your head. Football has always been popular with people who like gambling, and there's usually at least one show on the radio every Saturday that covers point spreads and gives a "lock of the week".
(of course, this is why ESPN was pathetically fixated on SpyGate last year. Oh no, can't upset the gamblers, right? They might break Stuart Scott's legs!)

Madden Football: Who doesn't love losing by 41 points to your friend who figured out how to throw a Hail Mary on every play? I can't tell you how many arguments and hurt feelings I've had over the years thanks to this game. But the vicarious thrill of making the Cardinals win a Super Bowl can not be beat. I just can't risk the heartache of getting killed in this game. Yet again.

Fantasy Football: Every guy (sorry ladies) it seems has a fantasy football team. And I'm willing to bet most of them are better than the train wreck I always end up with. It certainly adds interest to any Sunday when you see a guy on your fantasy team is doing well. Unless you're playing me, in which case, it probably doesn't matter. I believe I've gone six years without successfully making a trade.

College football: I'd be willing to put the combined national attendance for Division I (or whatever the hell they're calling it these days) football up against any sport in the world - yes, soccer included. Think about how many giant stadiums there are in college football. Clearly, this is a ready made audience for the NFL and adds some excitement to the utterly uninteresting NFL draft. Even someone like myself who did not go to a school with a football team will get excited every Saturday in the fall.

The other sports are hopelessly flawed: Baseball is extremely poorly run, has post season games that end slightly after midnight, and never figured out a way of dealing with steroids. Basketball is run in an even worse fashion, has playoff games that end even later and is mired in an officiating scandal that would - if the average American had any intelligence whatsoever - trump the MLB steroid scandal and Spy Gate. The NHL has relegated themselves to near irrelevance by a decade plus of suicidal decisions. NASCAR's popularity defies all logic but it still does not approach football. Golf is wedded to the spectacle of Tiger embarrassing everyone - without him, no one cares. Tennis is not popular and I have no idea why. The last remaining option is World Series of Poker tournaments from 4 years ago. Sorry, I'll pass.

Sunday: This might be the top reason why the NFL dominates in popularity. The games are on once a week, usually on a day that 95% of the population has off, and thus constitutes a "spectacle". It really doesn't matter if you lose even 60 baseball games. 1 football loss can be ruinous - just not as much so as in college.

Those are my ideas. Culled from various sources and of course, other people's arguments. Notice that I didn't put anything in about the game itself. While football can be fun to watch, it can also be a hopelessly irritating sludge of 1 yard runs, mindless penalties and endless commercials. No sport is perfect.

A month to go: college hockey events I want to see...

2008-08-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

Just to get myself in the mood for college hockey, here are some things I'd like to see happen. And, the chances of that actually occurring.

"Hockey East Semi-final Round features UML, UMA, PC and NU"- This would be a great time. Not only would the league's head explode due to the lack of the "traditional" powers, but the novelty would be awesome. And the best part is, you can sub Merrimack or UVM for any of these teams and have just as awesome a spectacle.
Chances of seeing this: The way the league is currently organized, slim to none.

"AIC wins the National Championship"- From worst... to first.
Chances of seeing this: 0

"Northeastern wins Beanpot"- With all of 4 Beanpots, does any fan base more deserve a win in this tournament?
Chances of seeing this: We say this yearly, but the Huskies keep getting better. This is not entirely outside of the realm of possibility. But... it never happens. Harvard is probably a better bet.
BTW: I excluded the GLI from this list because the "visitor" this year is UND. The Fighting Sioux win something annually. That's not impressive. MTU winning, would be something, but they still have about twice as many GLI trophies as NU does Beanpots.

"UAA wins the WCHA"- ... and then come the flying pigs.
Chances of seeing this: The WCHA usually boasts 5-6 tourney capable teams so this isn't entirely outside the realm of possibility. Unfortunately, it never seems to come together for the Sea Wolves. The chances are probably not good.

"UAF wins CCHA" - ... temperatures drop precipitously in Hell....
Chances of seeing this: Low. Since the Nanooks are usually worse than the Seawolves, this doesn't look promising either.

"Brown wins something other than the Mayor's Cup"- Brown is another team that always promises to be a competitor.
Chances of seeing this: Decent. Basically, I'd just like to see them torture someone other than PC.

"PC gets to the NCAA tournament"- Sigh.
Chances of seeing this: After last year? Abysmal

"Charlie Chaplin destroys someone elses computer"- Please, let this happen!
Chances of seeing this: Not goodUnless he gets access to some keys...

More props to other people's blogs...

2008-08-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

This is unbelievably well said

If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, you know that I have zero tolerance for the three ring circus that has become the Red Sox Fan Experience. All that is basically necessary to root for this team is to actually enjoy baseball and to enjoy watching the Red Sox play the game of baseball. That's it. And that attitude is as true in 2008 - after 2 world series titles - as it was in 1967 during the year when the fan base was created. It was still true in all the years when the Red Sox finished in last place.

What is not necessary is some of the superfluous programming I see on NESN (Sox Appeal?!??!) , the idea of Red Sox "nation" and any piece of Red Sox equipment that is not navy blue, red and white (the green hats are as bad as the pink ones, in my opinion). While the anti-Pink Hat sentiment does venture into misogyny, I want to make it clear that this sentiment is NOT anti-woman. Nor is it anti-"casual" Red Sox fan (no reasonable human being should be expected to live and breathe this team. This is a sports affiliation, NOT a lifestyle). Instead, it's an indictment against the current marketing campaign that the Red Sox have embraced where they're TRYING to turn this into a lifestyle. It's not and I refuse to play this game. I love baseball and the Red Sox and I'm going to leave it at this.

There are is a reason I feel this way The experience of rooting for PC hockey has so poisoned my enjoyment of sports in general , that I can't get too attached to a team for fear that they will kill me - as the Bruins are slowly doing. This has made me a notoriously poor loser. If my team is losing, I will not stay until the "bitter end" unless there's a chance my team will pull it out or if I'm up in Maine and someone stole my alternator. Also keep in mind that while I love the Red Sox, I also love the Patriots (EVIL!!!), Celtics, Bruins, Friars, and Celtic FC. I'm a sports polygamist.

In summation, it's a sport. It should be fun. And the team's colors are still navy blue, red and white. And I like women.

Patriots football 2008: EVIL!

2008-08-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

Let's face it: due to a variety of reasons, the New England Patriots are the most hated team in professional sports. True, many of these reasons are infantile, overblown and agonizingly dimwitted, but we do live a country where Paris Hilton was allowed to gain ascendancy. My proposal is this: instead of whining about how everyone hates, I say we embrace it! If we're going to root for the most hated team in America, let's give bovine America a show! Here are some ideas I've come up with.

1. Change the team's colors to black: black helmets, black shirts, black pants, black cleats, black everything. Instead of the Flying Elvis logo, put in an inverted Satanic pentagram. Also in black.

2. Patriots cheerleaders should now wear black bondage wear.

3. Convince Bill Belichick to wear a top hat and monocle along with the hoodie. He should also grow a long mustache he can twirl while cackling malevolently.

4. After each game, Tom Brady should threaten to steal the girlfriends and wives of the viewers at home.

5. Have Randy Moss embark on an automotive rampage. Pay him an extra million dollars for each pedestrian he runs over. And it goes without saying he should be blasting Judas Priest's "Breaking the Law" while he does this.

6. Patriots fans should begin communicating with each other on message boards and email by writing backwards.

7. Teddy Bruschi should begin wearing Heath Ledger's Joker makeup. On a similar promotional tie in, after sacking the quarterback, Richard Seymour should flip a coin to decide whether the QB lives or dies.

8. The Kraft family needs to cultivate Mafia ties. Then they need to wrap a dead fish in newspaper and send an Old Sicilian Message to our friends in Bristol CT.

9. Begin suing everyone who lamely accuses the Patriots of cheating for intellectual property rights. It should be noted that this strategy worked very well for Metallica.

10. One player on the team needs to start talking like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. The punter is a good option.

11. The Patriots organization forms a massive axis of evil with the New York Yankees, LA Lakers, Detroit Red Wings, Duke basketball, whichever SEC football team is winning right now and Gopher hockey. This Legion of Doom should visit other evil teams from around the globe (Manchester United and Real Madrid spring to mind) and consolidate their perfidy. Then they blackmail the UN with some sort of doomsday device.

12. Finally, each time the Giants or Jets lose Patriots fans (all of us) need to call up WFAN and laugh malevolently.

See, there are ways of dealing with the hostility of the American public that will provide all of us with endless entertainment! Remember, nothing is more amusing than goofy cartoonish super villainy! Hail Sata- er, Belichick!

College hockey honeymoon options!

2008-08-20T07:45:00.001-07:00

Shhh, don't tell Jenny. But, as much as I like the idea of going to Budapest, there is no college hockey in Hungary. So, let's look at some college hockey alternatives for our honeymoon, shall we?

Alaska (UA and UAA): The good thing about going to Alaska is that it's a beautiful state. Both of us would really like to visit. The bad news is the two teams are quite a distance from one another. And by the time the season starts, I'm sure it will be very VERY cold. Let's not forget which two teams usually finish in the bottom of the CCHA and WCHA respectively.

Boston (BC, BU, Hah-vahd, and NU): At least it would be cheap! The bad news is, not really a honeymoon spot.

Burlington VT (UVM): I love the Gutt and I love Burlington but there two problems here. 1. It's cold. 2. UVM's defense makes me want to jab needles in my eyes and slip into a coma. That's not romantic.

Colorado (DU, Air force, CC): Ah, it would be pretty and the hockey would be outstanding. But again, we need someplace warmer and preferably avalanche-free.

Orono, ME (Maine): Alfond is awesome and I would like to visit my alternator. But Orono is not exactly fun central (unless you crash one of the dozens of frat houses outside the rink) and once again - it would be cold.

Michigan (lower peninsula)(Michigan, MSU, FSU, WMU): Second only to Minnesota in the amount of options. However, I would be surrounded by Red Wings fans (sorry Mark!) and it wouldn't be too much of an improvement from Boston.

Michigan (upper peninsula)(LSSU, NMU, and MTU): Hey, it's the largest locks in the world! And the hockey would be decent. Unfortunately, we also have a very cold environment, Orono levels of excitement and the PK Ditty.

Minnesota (let's see: Minnesota, SCSU, UMD, BSU, and MSU-M. Phew!) A LOT of college hockey here. And, the Twin Cities is supposed to be a happening place. I would spend my entire honeymoon trying not to run into Garrison Keillor.

The North Country (SLU and Clarkson): Appleton and Cheel are fantastic places to see a game. But there is NOTHING to do here. Unless you want to drive up to Ottawa. I can see this honeymoon going poorly.

Upstate New York: (RPI, RIT, Union, Cornell, Colgate, Army, Canisius, Niagara): This might actually not be a bad trip. If it was summer and you were fishing. But having been to most of these places, I'm not sure I want to be there in winter (especially Colgate).

North Dakota (UND): I like snow as much as the next guy. But no...

Wisconsin (Wisconsin): Madison would be fun, but would Jenny really want to go back home for her honeymoon?

And now we see why Hungary is our best option!

Radio summation

2008-08-18T12:45:00.001-07:00

Mornings with Jon:
1. The Sandbox (WFNX)- Music, wackiness, references to wookies.
2. Opie and Anthony (WBCN)- Norton cracks me up
3. The Takeaway/Morning Edition- Ah, NPR.
4. Dennis and Callahan - but only when they aren't there...

Afternoons with Jon:
1. Toucher and Rich (WBCN)- Recap correct!
2. Attitude Adjustment (WZLX)- Sitting on a park bench
3. The Big Show (WEEI)- blah blah blah blah
4. Big Jim (WFNX)- Laugh it up, fuzzball

As for weekends, I'm a giant NPR geek:
1. Says You
2. Car Talk
3. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

...and I have been known to fall asleep during "Celtic Sojurn" and wake up during "Prairie Home Companion".

That kills this topic. Next blog post may very well be my favorite things to think about while in the bathroom. Sorry.

Afternoons in Waltham: Jon's radio adventures part II

2008-08-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

So, my mornings on the radio have been mapped out. What of my afternoons?

"Attitude Adjustment Hour" (WZLX): I'm a sucker for classic rock. But not all of it; much like the Dude, I have no tolerance for the Eagles. But if you wait until 7, they play a block of Zepplin.
Versus Jon's Radio: Usually the radio wins. Especially if it's TULL!

"Big Jim" (WFNX): According to the guys on the Sandbox, he's a wookie! Chewie ruled.
Versus Jon's Radio: It depends. There's only so many times the human psyche can handle The Foo Fighters in the course of one hour. And I like the Foo Fighters. In fact, one of their CDs is in my car...

"All Things Considered" (NPR): Like a warm comfortable pair of shoes. Again.
Versus Jon's Radio: The CD player. I'm all newsed out by the time I get out of bed in the morning.

"the Big Show" (WEEI): Tolerable for about half the program, until the idiot callers start calling on the same subject. Over and over again. And then the hosts started talking at the same time. There are more professional offerings on public access.
Versus Jon's Radio: Okay half the time. But the Whiner Line is useless and the "outrage de jour" format can get tiresome.

"The Pink Hamster review" (WRKO): What sadist put Red Sox games on this station? No one who uses the word "moonbat" more than once should be taken seriously. So I don't.
Versus Jon's Radio: My CD player. Liberals suck and public servants are hacks. We get it. Move on.

"Whoever is filling in for Felger" (ESPN): You know what? I heard great things about this show in comparison to "the Big Show". I turned it on one day and it sounded like a more sedate version of "the Big Show". And now Felger is gone. Meh.
Versus Jon's Radio: CD player.

"Mistress Carey" (WAAF): I have no problem with Carey, at least in comparison to the aural train wreck that is Hillman. However, every time I turn on this station it's Nu-Metal. How in Hades did we go from Sabbath, Priest, Maiden, the Big Four of Thrash, GWAR (HAH!), and Pantera to THIS? At least Creed is loooonnnnnggg gone.
Versus Jon's Radio: CD player, usually. But it is funny to hear them play Bob Marley now. Awesome.

"Toucher and Rich" (WBCRadioN): This is the show that brought us the Gunner, Dating on Demand, Burger King Cheryl, Adolfo, and of course, Jojo Weiss aka Jojo Hennigan aka the Whopper the Whopper the Whopper Big Cheese Sandwich. And they play music.
Versus Jon's Radio: The radio. But it should be noted that the wacky shock jock schtick can get tiresome and if FNX overplays the Foo Fighters, WBCN overplays the Chili Peppers. That's much worse.

"Mike and the Mad Dog" (WFAN): Sadly, no longer with us. Sigh.
Versus Jon's Radio: CD player, because I can't get this show in Waltham. And now I really can't get it.

Charlie has failed...

2008-08-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

...the hacks just keep coming.

Sigh.

Not only is the column still being recycle- er, written, but he's on to us! Bad kitty! Very very bad!

Moonbats assemble! Let the persecution of all non-liberals commence!

(in all seriousness, it's good to see the same idiots comment on every single Howie article. At least we know where they nest. )

Early morning in Roslindale: Radio choices

2008-08-15T07:09:00.001-07:00

As many of you have figured out, I'm constantly waging a battle between whether or not to listen to my CD player or the radio. Given that I'm not about to lavish money on satellite radio just so I can listen to Howard Stern (uh, no), it's either the CD player or the radio for me. So let's match up my CD player with my radio listening options:

"The Takeaway"(NPR)- Maybe it's just me, but I keep hoping an on air brawl takes place between John Hockenberry, Adaora Udoji, and Femi Oki (who has the best name! Let us decide using the Wu Tang Sword Style!). It would certainly make the pledge drives more exciting.
Versus Jon's CD Player: Doesn't matter, since it only runs until 7 and I'm usually not in my car by that point.

"Morning Edition" (umm, also NPR): It's NPR. It's there. Like a comfortable pair of shoes.
Versus Jon's CD Player: Jon's CD player in a walk

"The Tom Finneran Show"(WRKO): Except for Red Sox games, WRKO is so utterly useless it defies description. To counteract the fact that they have the completely irrelevant Rush Limbaugh and the Pink Hamster on their station, WRKO decided to hire the poster boy of entrenched liberal power. And his show is just as awful as every other piece of excrement on this station. Good to see them stay fair and balanced.
Versus Jon's CD Player: Jon's CD player. The only way I could listen to this show would be if I was in a coma

"Opie and Anthony" (WBCN): The caveat is I'm basically listening to hear Jimmy Norton make fun of people. He's hilarious. Opie and Anthony aren't bad, but Norton doesn't get enough credit. Patrice is a riot too.
Versus Jon's CD Player: O and A, depending on who is on

"the Sandbox" (WFNX): Kind of like a more upbeat, happier version of the Toucher and Rich Show. And they play music! Granted, it's not always music I like (please STOP whoring for Coldplay), but it's music.
Versus Jon's CD Player: The radio. Unless it's Coldplay (again)

"Mike and Mike"(ESPN): Hey, it's average guys! Who like sports! What a concept!
Versus Jon's CD Player: The CD player. If I want average people discussing sports, I'll just talk to myself. Hey, I already do!

"Dennis and Callahan"(WEEI): Sometimes, you want to hear about sports. However, I never really want to hear whining about late games, running up the score, Manny bashing, liberal bashing and golf at 7 in the morning. Sorry. However, if they're on vacation, the show really isn't that bad!
Versus Jon's CD Player: The CD player runs up the score like Belichick here

"Imus" (wherever he ended up): His voice would make a sea cucumber murderous.
Versus Jon's CD Player: Take a wild guess.

"Hillman morning show" (WAAF): An awful collision of no music, bad parody songs, whiny self important liberal bashing, the atrocity known as "Mantown" and Spazz - the worst person I've ever heard on radio. Imagine someone as annoying as Mister Opportunity and as stupid as a Adolfo with the worst Boston accent ever. I shudder to think of listening to this for more than five minutes.
Versus Jon's CD Player: CD player. I like music!

"Jazz!" (the Harvard station. Wherever that is...)- Unfortunately, I'm all jazzed out by the time I go to bed in the evening. Thanks to Eric... in the evening. Sorry.
Versus Jon's CD Player: CD player, assuming it's not more jazz

So far, so good...

2008-08-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

There are certain moments in the past 6 years or so which lead me to believe Theo Epstein is the luckiest person to ever walk the planet. To whit: the trade for Jason Bay. The Red Sox had two huge problems leading into the trade deadline. 1. The team wasn't hitting and 2. the middle relief was a problem. Since the trade, the Red Sox went 5-1 at home, had a winning road trip (barely) and are 2-0 so far in their homestand against the Texas Rangers. All of this success is in spite of the fact that the trade did nothing to address either one of these areas. In fact, by getting rid of Manny Ramirez and Craig Hansen, the Red Sox might have actually weakened their offense and bullpen. The perfect example is the nightmarish 19-17 victory over the Rangers where the middle relief did everything in their power to give Texas a victory but the supposedly inadequate Big Papi/Yoooouuuukkkk part of the order won the game anyways. Defying all logic to the contrary.

So basically, despite all logic and reason to the contrary, the trade is working. I don't know if Theo is a genius, but I'm glad he's working for my team.

Random comments:

-Unlike the completely overblown Spring Training, no one cares about the NFL pre-season. And no one should.

-I'm glad to see Gerry Callahan is recovering from throat cancer. I thought I should type that given the fact I disagree with him on every issue imaginable and I refuse to listen to WEEI in the morning because of this.

-Scottish football is awesome. Yet another late game involving a Glasgow team (this time, my beloved Celtic) is settled with a questionable late penalty kill. You'd think someone would eventually do something about this, but nope.

Hey, somone actually agree with me!

2008-08-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

Burning Manny
It's amazing, isn't it?

Random thoughts on the post-Manny era:

2008-08-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

Here's some more random crap that has been rolling around my head:

-While there's a huge sigh of relief from the Red Sox clubhouse, I have to wonder if they can really legitimately blame the incompetence of the past fortnight on Manny's infantile behavior. I understand his behavior was awful, but how does that explain why the pitching was horrendous? What we saw was a breakdown on every level - not just the one at left field. At some point, the Red Sox have to be held accountable for their overall crappiness. But as usual, it's easier to bash Manny than it is to criticize the organization. The Red Sox have done a magnificent job at positive public relations, but Mannygate still smacks of a distraction.

-And while we're on the subject, whether or not the Manny trade was a success remains to be seen. I can't stomache any more "addition by subtraction" talk, especially with the team in 4-12 death spiral. I hope Jason Bay can hit 3 home runs a game and pitch out of the bullpen, because that's pretty much what the team needs right now.

-As you can tell from my last blog entry, I've been on a bit of a MST3K kick lately. I can only hope that Rhino starts releasing more episodes sooner rather than label. In particular, it would be nice to see my two favorite Sci-Fi Channel era episodes - "Final Sacrifice" and "Riding with Death". I really want to see if Rowsdower can catch the elusive Robert Denby.

-Jenny and I will be camping this weekend. I can only hope we do not run afoul of any badgers.

-I don't think I can still link to this, but I read the stupidest article in the Wall Street Journal last week. It compared George W Bush to Batman. Honestly.

-Speaking of stupidity, when Michael Savage dies, I have a feeling he'll be watching "Rain Man" for all of eternity.

-Someone place Brett Favre under house arrest. It's tough to miss someone when they won't go away...

-Oh no! Another ex-Patriots employee has come out of the woodworks and made insane ad hominem attacks and unprovable allegations! Hopefully someone will call Gregg Easterbrook and advise him that he needs to put aside his attempts at the Grand Unified Theory of Physics to write another Dostoyevskiesque essay on how Belichik is the father of all that is unholy.

MST3K vs ennui

2008-07-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

Here's an idea I came up with while waiting for the Red Sox to wake up and play baseball: Fun lines from Mystery Science Theatre 3000 you could yell at work to liven things up a little in the office. Before you get yourself fired.

Quotes to startle your co-workers:
"Hi-Keeba!" (Women from the Prehistoric Planet)
"Sampo!" (The Day the Earth Froze)
"Rowsdower?" (The Final Sacrifice)
"Adgka!" (The Incredible Melting Man)

Quotes to make your co-workers fear you:
"Knew your father, I did!" (Mr. B Natural)
"Who's to tell me to blow if I don't want to?" (The Brain that Wouldn't Die)
"Time for go to bed now!" (the Unearthly)
"I killed that fat barkeep!" (the Beatniks)

Laments:
"Hahahahahahaha- YOU'RE STUCK HERE!" (Fugitive Alien)
"Why don't you leave us alone?" (Manos: the Hands of Fate)
"What sin could a man commit in a single lifetime to bring this upon himself?" (the Amazing Colossal Man)

Happy Songs:
"Rock and Roll Martian! Rock and Roll Martian!" (Merln's Shop of Mystical Wonders)
"I sing whenever I sing whenever I sing..." (the Giant Gila Monster)
"Night train to Mundo Fine!" (Red Zone Cuba)
"This is the song written for the train chase/this is the chase/Rocky and Ken/he tried to kill me with a forklift!/ Ole!" (Fugitive Alien)

Things to make your co-workers think you're insane:
"This is where the fish live." (Touch of Satan)
"Christmas is the day Craig was born so very long ago" (Santa Claus)
"No one on earth will ever believe Santa Claus was captured by Martians!" (Santa Claus vs the Martians)

Happy Shark Week!

2008-07-27T19:42:00.001-07:00

Thank you Discovery Channel.

Enough is enough...

2008-07-25T05:43:00.000-07:00

...of my lack of blogging.

Well put.

...and I can't believe I just linked to the Boston Metro! Well, this has been an odd season. The writer of this article does have an excellent point. Enough is enough with the endless Manny debate. Both sides of the Manny debate are just grasping at straws at this point and it's more than a little embarrassing.

Another good point

Excusing the complete pomposity of this article (you're above singing "Sweet Caroline" and the Wave? Well, aren't you superior!), he's absolutely right. The "Yankees Suck" chant is idiotic and needs to be retired immediately. No, I don't secretly like the Yankees. But I would rather hear "Let's Go Red Sox." Because our identifying feature as Red Sox fans should be liking the team - not hating our arch-enemies. Besides, the chant reeks of jealousy. And since 2004, why would we possibly be jealous of them? It's time to grow up...

Sox at the break

2008-07-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

When I do make predictions, they tend to be wrong, so I'll avoid that temptation. But I would like to say that nothing has been decided by this week of baseball.
When we began the week, the Rays were up by 5 games. Now, largely due to the fact that Tampa Bay is only slightly less incompetent a road team than the Red Sox, the Rays are half a game down. I said last week that the Rays and their "cute" four game league meant nothing. I will say this week that the Red Sox and their tinier half a game lead are just as irrelevant. I expect Tampa Bay to go on a run when they get back home and the Red Sox to continue to struggle on the road. I also expect the BePinstriped Ones to get back into the race and create a three way struggle for the AL East. I wouldn't even put it past the Orioles to get hot.

This could be a very very entertaining second half if four teams can compete for one or two playoff spots.

The Schmooze

2008-07-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

My all time favorite sports talk personality is Steve Sommers out of WFAN in New York. He's funny, articulate, has the ability to put up with a lot of crap from opposing fan (and as a Rangers and Mets fan, he puts up with a great deal) and is generally superior to the most of the on air talent on WEEI in Boston - at least in my opinion. I base this observation on an incident that happened on Saturday.

Steve Sommers was taking phone calls during his usual insanely varied schedule (he tends to be on the air whenever they can squeeze him in) and one of the dumber fans I've ever heard called him. He described himself as an "ex" Yankees fan who had abandoned the team a few years ago before because he didn't like the way the team management was treating Joe Torre and he was sick of Hank Steinbrenner's act. Rather than let him go on with his insane comment, Steve pointed out the logical fallacies in his argument (for example, George Steinbrenner's past misdeeds were even worse) without stooping to personal attacks.

Then I lost the signal. I went over to WEEI and subjected myself to the Mustard and Johnson show. It didn't take me very long to find someone even worse than the "ex" Yankee fan. Instead, we had an "ex" Red Sox fan who went on an 2 minute tirade about how much he hated the Red Sox and how much better things were when Yaz was around and how he was much more interested in his son's college baseball team. Rather than point out that he was an idiot, the two hosts let him rant. In fact, they seemed to egg him on I wanted to reach through the dashboard and strangle this moron and I was rather disappointed that the hosts didn't at least point out that he was a horrible fan - or at the very least hang up on him.

I understand that WEEI is immensely popular, that they are one of the highest rated radio stations in this region - if not the country. I also understand that letting nimrods and jackanapes make asses of themselves on the airwaves is successful business strategy - kind of like how the Romans used to feed people to the lions and stage epic battles for entertainment. Also, I am aware that listening to the Mustard and Johnson show doesn't give me a lot of moral high ground - it is referred to as "Yankee talk" for a reason. Still, I prefer the way Steve Sommers goes about his business and I would gladly trade an entire month of "Boston" sports talk for a 3-4 hour schmooze.

Random thoughts about the Red Sox

2008-07-06T11:10:00.001-07:00

Bandwagon Ahoy!Would someone please look at the calender? There we go: it's July.
This means that regardless of how the Red Sox (or any of their opponents) are playing, there's still a chance. I bring this up because I grow weary of panicky Red Sox fans, the unbelievably pessimistic bunch who have replaced our usually cocky friends from the Bronx, and the nouveau rich Rays "fans" who are printing up World Series tickets already that NOTHING has been decided. It's July. If you don't believe how inconsequential the standings are at this point in the season, please find a Mets fan and ask him or her about last year. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Hooray for Tampa Bay and their impressive start, but its means nothing unless they can carry this into September and October. The Ray's fan base (who didn't exist prior to July, apparently) will again be purely mythical if they're lack of experience ever catches up with them. I'm sorry - I'm not impressed by a week where the Rays roll over the Marlins, Pirates, the Lowell Spinners team impersonating the Red Sox and the Kansas City Royals. That's what Tampa Bay is supposed to do with that collection of teams.

Pink Hats I have two problems with the so called "Pink Hats" and only two. 1. Pink is not a color of the Boston Red Sox. It is not a color of any major sports team - with the possible exception of Juventus. 2. Jason Variteck is not going to have sex with you.
Other than that, we're completely cool.
I love it how the media is trying to spin the friction between the Red Sox diehards who predate the massive post 2004 bandwagon and their new bizarrely colored opponents in Red Sox "nation" as some form of sexism rearing it's ugly head. In fact, I think the real friction is between the people who had to go through the late forties, 1967, 1975, 1978, 1986, the abysmal playoff series in 1988, 1990, 1995, and 1998, and the cataclysmic stupidity in 2003 and the late comers who have latched on to the "Nation" silliness or whatever the Rem Dog is selling this week. While it's fun to pose Wally the Green Monster in different positions or vote for the president of Red Sox "Nation", none of this has a thing to do with rooting for the Boston Red Sox. Can we please get back to supporting the baseball team and stifle any talk of us being a "nation" and not a fan base? No wonder everyone now hates us; how presumptuous it is for Red Sox fans - or anyone else! - to describe their rooting experience as nationhood! While rooting for a team should be fun, baseball is an enjoyable enough sport to follow on it's own merits without the additional silliness. This is a sport. Not a lifestyle.
Part of the problem is that because I root for all four "Boston teams", I can not lavish all of my time and energy on the Boston Red Sox. I root for the seemingly (ouch) invincible Patriots just as hard as I do for the hapless Bruins. You can follow four sports at one time - this is what prevents me from growing obsessed about the Sox to the point where I would join in whatever silly pink or green capped "Nation" the marketing division at Fenway is jamming down our throats this week. And it is marketing. I hate to say this, but isn't this faux "nationhood" deal the reason why everyone hates Cowboys fans?

MannyManny should have been forced to sit down for one game following his altercation with the traveling press secretary. The end. He should not have been traded, kicked off the team, put on waivers, arrested, or beaten up by the press secretary's family. The discussion of Manny's punishment was a lovely attempt to distract us from the five game losing streak, but it was a transparent one. I grow weary of the reflexive Manny bashing on the part of the Usual Gang of Idiots at WEEI.

The good old days I also tire of the grumpy old man segment of Red Sox fans (first in queue is the arch-masochist Angry Bill who has been whining and carrying on since 2004 in an apparent desire to resurrect Bucky Bleeping Dent or whatever tragedy it is he'd like to revisit) who have been moaning about the team since Yaz retired in 1983. That's a long time to hold a grudge. Besides, if you want to root for a hopeless case, you have the Bruins. The anti-hockey establishment in Boston is almost as hopelessly pathetic as the frauds who hate the "new" Red Sox for selling out. I'd love to be ignorant enough to accuse the Red Sox of selling out. Tom Yawkey's teams of the 40's and 50's were always the highest paid in baseball. And let's not sugar coat the fact that the Sox were the last team in baseball to integrate. Yeah, nothing like 86 years of misery, overpaid prima donnas, and racism to make one nostalgic, right?

I hate to sound arrogant, but I like it when my team wins a championship. It's a satisfying way for my loyalty to be repaid. If you don't know why, please understand that rooting for PC hockey makes me appreciate these things far more than I would otherwise. How can you get spoiled when you root for the Boston Bruins?

Coming attractions!

2008-07-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

I've had some great ideas for blog posts lately, some of which I'll get to:

-I really need to do that Journey/Styxx/Foreigner Battle Royal I promised. I'll get to it eventually. Don't stop believing... (I couldn't resist)

- Joe Fitzgerald from the Boston Herald needs a visit from Charlie Chaplin following his asinine comments about George Carlin's lack of "decency". Apparently, using seven words you can't say on the air is indecent, but choosing the event of someone's death to bring up people's potty mouths is okay? I really don't think so.

- More complaining about WEEI's uselessness. The Red Sox are slumping badly, so why all the reflexive Manny bashing? Actually, I might not need to do this.

-Where should Jenny and I go on our honeymoon? My ideas on the subject will follow.

The Mantra of Red Sox fans

2008-07-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

This happens every year.
This happens every year.
This happens every year.
This happens every year.
This happens every year.
This happens every year.
This happens every year.
This happens every year.
This happens every year.
This happens every year.

Jon's Professional Packing Service

2008-06-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

During the 2004 election, many people on the far left threatened to leave this country if George W Bush was re-elected (an interesting concept in and of itself). Sadly, none of them did.

You'd think that liberals making this idle threat would have been comical. But now we have conservatives making it. It was so much "fun" when Hollywood did it, now the right wants to do it as well? Hilarious.

The joke is this: none of you are going anywhere. I recently made the mistake of checking out the bottom rung of the Herald's website, aka the Comments section. Apparently, the cool new thing to do is to threaten to leave the Commonwealth because it is - as one cretin put it - "a far left dungheap". I bet you anything said poster never gets beyond 495.

There is a population drain on MA right now. I very much doubt that it's because of the state's admittedly liberal politics. I think it might have something to do with the high cost of living and the outrageous rent prices being charged. Or maybe the taxes. At any rate, I'm all for the continued exodus,if only to cut down on the long, mindnumbingly awful traffic jams around here at 5 PM. And it's nice to see all those Red Sox fans show up in Florida. So please do leave. I hate having to sit in traffic whenever I want to go anywhere.

But rather than just making fun of people, I'd like to do something helpful while I'm making fun of them. If anyone would like to leave the state do go to one of those apparently wonderful Red States where the streets are paved with gold, I'm more than happy to help you move. Charlie Chaplin and I will be willing to lend a hand and a paw to any political refugees as you move from this far left dungheap to whatever shanty town you'll be cooling your heels in while you wait for another handsome carpet bagger to save the Commonwealth.

Or maybe you'll just stay here and complain online?

George Carlin: RIP

2008-06-24T15:50:00.001-07:00

I had to do some sort of tribute to George Carlin, one of my favorite comedians of all time. I'm very grateful that I got to see him live a few months ago. Here are some of my favorite lines (or at least the one's I could say on the radio):

"Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in goodness. Name 6 ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? ‘Cause chickens are decent people."

"Tonight's forecast: Dark."

"Did you ever notice that whenever you get two groups of people who really hate each other, they're wearing different hats. Keep that in mind, it could be important."

"But I don't pray to sun. Do you know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. That's because he's the kind of guy who can get things done."

"'Boy, he really takes the cake.' Where? Where do you take a cake? To the movies? Do you know where I'd take a cake? To the bakery. To look at the other cakes."

"Here's another bunch of ignorant ****: school uniforms. Bad theory. The idea that if kids wear uniforms to school it helps keep order. Don't these schools do enough damage makin' all these kids think alike? Now they're gonna make them look alike too? And it's not a new idea. I first saw it in news reels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand 'cause the narration was in German!"

"Question number one: 'Did you pack your bags yourself?' No, Carrot Top packed my bags."

"Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: 'We are the proud parents of a child whose self esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.'"

"Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast."

"They can't fool me, man. 'Shoot' is **** with two 'o's."

The Doldrums

2008-06-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

Now that the NBA title has been decided and New England has finally had chance to catch up on sleep, we come to the worst part of any baseball season: the part where your team can not buy a win. The Red Sox are stumbling right now - at home against National League teams - and their one win was in 13 mind numbingly awful innings. Clearly, this does not exactly make me regret lavishing all of my attention on the Celtics.

What surprises me is not that the Sox are slumping. What surprises me is that they seemed to have slumped at the exact same time last year as well. I'd have to do a bit more research on this, but it does seem like they went through a protracted slump around June. Now, losing 3 out of 4 games does not make a "slump". But with injuries and suspensions (thank you Psycho Coco Crisp!) taking their inevitable toll, this could be the beginning.

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss basketball.

Random thoughts following the Celtic's Championship run

2008-06-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

-I heard someone on 890 AM (ESPN's Boston affiliate) ruminate that win or lose, the Boston sports scene will be much less exciting when the NBA Finals end. They were right. I'm happy that the Red Sox have picked up momentum, but it's going to be much harder to get into the season right now. Usually, I can tell you how many games the Red Sox are in first or second (or, like two years ago third) place by. I honestly haven't been paying too much attention this year. I think part of the problem is being chased Tampa Bay instead of the Be-Pinstriped ones.

-Remember last year when the Celtics seemed to be completely luckless? They had just suffered through the worst season in recent memory (and considering the utterly horrific years with ML Carr and Rick Pitino, that says something) where the team went on a self-inflicted 18 game losing streak, only to miss out on the top pick in the draft. And now they're the Champions. Unreal.

-You'd think that this would inspire the Bruins to make a big move. Nope. It's one thing to be close to irrelevance, it's another thing to seemingly revel in it.

-Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks wearing a Celtic FC jersey to a Celtics event is clever. I've seen a few people wear the Hoops to C's events recently. I also see at least one or two green and white strips every time I'm in Fenway. I have no idea what links Celtic can have with the Red Sox save that Boston is "irish" (us being in the US) the same way Glasgow is "irish" (them being in Scotland at all).

-And being the PC homer I am, I wish Ryan Gomes was around to enjoy this. But I do appreciate his sacrifice to bring KG here.

-Speaking of the Big Ticket, I came to the conclusion during his completely inscrutable post game interview that KG is at least as crazy as Jonathan Papelbon, if not more so. I'm glad he's with us and not against us.

-Did Paul Pierce ever - in a thousand years - think THIS was going to happen? Last year he wanted out. Now he's the Finals MVP. This whole situation is completely inexplicable.

-Compared to the first time the Pat's won the Super Bowl, and the Red Sox winning in 2004, I'd have to say that I enjoyed this more. The first two titles I just mentioned put me in a state of shock: I'm still not convinced it actually happened. Because of the utter demolition of the Lakers, I had time to mentally process what was happening. The Sox never gave me that luxury in 2004. From Game Four of the ALCS onwards, they always threatened to lose.

-Speaking of the Lakers, I have no idea what to think of them. They aren't the Celtics arch rivals (that would be the 76'ers) and they only posed a threat when the C's were playing particularly incompetently. Kobe is be lot closer to LeBron than he is to Jordan and Phil Jackson spent most of the series meditating - he certainly wasn't coaching. So much for them being the superior team. Also, as irritating as the Hollywood Lakers fans are, they can't hold a candle to Evil Bizzaro New Englanders who root for the Yankees (aside from an absurd level of confidence that is now TOTALLY unfounded, what's the difference) and the violent Francophone mess that is the Canadiens fan base (rioting after a first round victory? Are you kidding me?!?), Lakers fans are rather tame.

-One final thought for tonight, the Larry O'Brien trophy looks like a hood ornament. Chalk that up as yet another reason why we need to get the Stanley Cup back to Boston.

SEVENTEEN!!!

2008-06-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Spector: No mas!

2008-06-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

Je surrender!

Our long national nightmare is over! Now that Arlen has finally let go of his silly pity party, maybe he can get to those unimportant trifles like Iraq, the economy, global warming, and social security.

Somebody Break His Keyboard Part Five: Burnination!

2008-06-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

Charlie Chaplin - my computer annihilating cat - has had a nice vacation recently. I haven't sent him out to destroy anyone's computer for a few weeks now. Well, I'm sorry Charlie, but you're on the case again. This victim has had this computer destruction coming for a while now:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/06132008/sports/mckay_too_classy_for_tv_today_115289.htm

Here's the reason why Mr. Mushnick has earned this dubious honor. Much like Bill O'Reilly, he can't go an article without kvetching about the lack of "decency" in the world, only this time in the sporting world. But since O'Reilly is a lame conservative commentator, it's kind of expected. Phil Mushnick writes about sports. And here's the rub.

Professional wrestling is not a sport. It should not be discussed in an article about sports. See, there's a difference between the WWE and sports leagues: the results aren't decided ahead of time (unless David Stern feels like it, apparently). Why Phil can't seem to figure this out is beyond me. If I see a column in the "sports" section, and the column is about professional wrestling, my first thought is that the columnist in question is desperately confused about the purpose of his job. If he does it continuously, it makes me think I should stop reading his column. If Phil Mushnick is going to spend his time complaining about Vince McMahon, he should branch out and start writing about politics, astrology, gossip or even the mating habits of the American Badger. Because all of those things have as much to do with sports as professional wrestling.

I know I'm not the first person to complain about this. I know that pro-wrestling fans hate Mushnick with a passion, but that's to be expected because he's going after their favorite thing. But I think most of the rest of us are pissed at Mushnick because - again - professional wrestling is not a sport. Yet he keeps bringing it up. I've been complaining about this since I was a teenager and Mushnick wrote a weekly column in TV Guide where he frequenly complained about wrestling. This was kind of irritating 15 years ago, and the act hasn't improved with age.

Sic him, Charlie.

I can't believe it!!!

2008-06-12T20:53:00.001-07:00

Lakers in seven now, right?

A lot of people are eating crow right now. Myself included; I had the series going seven. I honestly think the C's can finish this team off in LA. And even if they don't, they have three chances to pull this off.

Wow! Just... wow!

David Stern Can Not Be Harmed By Conventional Weapons!

2008-06-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

So, after the entire nation spends the better part of 48 hours ruminating that the Lakers will get every call imaginable for Game Three after the ridiculous free throw disparity in Game Two, David Stern trots out Bennett Salvatore. Did anyone not see this coming? And more to the point, did anyone NOT think David Stern would do this?

Give David Stern some credit: he knew he was going to get criticized for the pro-Boston slant of the officiating in Game Two and he further knew that the criticism was going to get worse if he sent scrubs to Game Three to give the Lakers the advantage. If you want to argue that the NBA is fixed, what would be more obvious than an entire game of make up calls? But David Stern doesn't care. He is apparently above criticism. The man just does what he wants.

Could you imagine if Roger Gooddell, Bud Selig, or Gary Bettman pulled this crap? League ratings would never be the same. But Stern gets away with it, much as he did with Tim Donaghy (which was far worse than the MLB steroid scandal and Spygate in my opinion because it's one thing for players and coaches to break the rules, it's another for the league officials to affect the games like they were Vince McMahon).
It's basically like David Stern is singlehandedly attempting to prove every cockamamie conspiracy theory Bill Simmons has come up with over the past eight years is absolutely true.

The fact that he would court almost certain condemnation leads me to the one unarguable conclusion:

David Stern can not be harmed. He might be invincible. He might even be the Highlander (in which case the Lakers/Celtics match up would be the Quickening). Now I want to buy "the Best of Queen" and crank the volume up to 11.

Lakers in Five, er... Six, right?

2008-06-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

Well, there was nothing easy about the first two games of the finals, but given that the Celtics were supposed to curl up and die in these games, I would say that if Lakers are going to win the the NBA title, it's not going to be as easy as some of the prognosticators in the national media (and the aforementioned mouth breathers I made fun of a few days ago) thought it was going to be.

Two wins away.

Day of Mindless Drivel: Part Three

2008-06-06T10:52:00.001-07:00

One more while I'm channeling Crow and Tom Servo:

"oh please whoever thought he was really hurt is to gulable he faked that the same way he faked you all into believing he was hurt he needed to do that or the celtics lost that game i don't care what anybody says he faked that injury like you would'nt belive looked what happened when he came back out enough said"

"is to gulable"- W would love this guy. "gulable"? I think that means "possessing the attributes of a sea gull."

he was really hurt is to gulable as rational arguments is to this guy.

"he faked that the same way he faked you all into believing he was hurt"- Isn't that the same thing?

"or the celtics lost that game"- Because the rest of his team mates did nothing, right?

"i don't care what anybody says"- Probably because you enjoy being an idiot.

"would'nt belive"- There's no way a functioning adult wrote this. None.

Well, that was fun. Which one of these twits most deserves a visit from Charlie Chaplin?

Day of Mindless Drivel: Part Two

2008-06-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

Just so you don't think it's only Lakers fans (and their seemingly endless train of apologists) who are the problem, here's a gem by someone who will hopefully be moving from Boston to Djibouti any day now:

"By the way. People from LA have no business commenting on the toughness/manhood of anyone. LA is the heart of sissy/homeo land."

Thank you for painting us all as homophobic idiots who can't spell. Please root for a different team.

Day of Mindless Drivel: Part One

2008-06-06T10:19:00.000-07:00

The sad pathetic descent of America's basement dwelling losers continues unabated. Here's a random sampling of the stupidity that passes for "conversation" on ESPN's vapid comment section:

"First off, Paul Pierce is a drama queen. Plain and simple. Don't argue about it, last night was a perfect example of that. All you Celtics fan in here are talking about how you dominated the lakers last night. The fact of the matter is the Lakers were leading for most of the game and it was a close game throughout. It could have gone either way, and this is with Kobe going 1-10 in the first half. If any of you think the Celts actually have a shot at winning ever again this season, good luck! Lakers in 5.
PS- I think I saw Pierce's vaj bag when he got wheelchaired of the court."

This is pretty bad, eh? Now let's dissect why this nimrod should be awarded a sub prime mortgage:

"Don't argue about it"- The mating call of someone with no valid argument.

" All you Celtics fan"- I hate the Celtics fan. I'd prefer the Celtic's air conditioner. Apostrophes are your friends!

"in here are talking about how you dominated the lakers last night." - Any Celtics fan having a conversation with this clown is too stupid to belong to this fan base. And anyone dumb enough to argue that the Celtics "dominated" anything last night was watching a different game. But at least we now know that Lakers fans aren't the only idiots on ESPN. Hallelujah! As if we weren't personally aware of any idiots in Boston, right?

"The fact of the matter is the Lakers were leading for most of the game and it was a close game throughout." - Umm,no they weren't. Does the space time continuum not work for you? This was one of the most back and forth games I've seen in ages.

"It could have gone either way"- But it didn't. Again, this guy needs a Flux Capacitor or a TARDIS.

"and this is with Kobe going 1-10 in the first half"- Yet his team mates had the Lakers up by 5 anyways. You do realize basketball is a team sport, right?

"If any of you think the Celts actually have a shot at winning ever again this season, good luck! Lakers in 5." - Yes, there's no way the Celtics will ever be able to play solid defense in the second half of a game. Except the 12 times it happened previously in the playoffs. Whoops!

"I think I saw Pierce's vaj bag when he got wheelchaired of the court"- You would be looking for that, Don Juan. Also, there's no such word as "wheelchaired".

I've said it once, I'll say it again: there needs to be some sort of test for cognitive ability given before you post on the internet. It also proves that my last vituperative rant was completely on target!

While you weren't paying attention

2008-05-31T12:21:00.000-07:00

A more cynical man than I would point out that the Boston Red Sox are somehow above reproach in New England - especially in regards to the much criticized Celtics (who somehow, despite making the NBA Finals are clearly fraudulent - yeah, sure), the criminally inept Bruins (no argument here) and the vaguely sinister facists who run the New England Patriots. If you want to buy into any conspiracy theories involving the Monolith of Fenway Park, consider that the Sox managed to bury their most incompetent stretch of the season during the Celtic's run to the NBA Finals against the Pistons. Yes, while we were all worrying about Ray Allen's sudden disappearance, whether or not KG is "clutch" and Sam Cassel's return to the Mothership, the Red Sox were getting swept by the Oakland A's, and losing 2 of 3 to the hapless Seattle Mariners. Fortunately for the Red Sox, these were all West Coast teams, and the games all ended at one in the morning. Since most of us have to work for a living, nobody figured out the Sox had lost until the next day. Thus, the worst stretch of the season passes by largely unnoticed. Convenient, eh?
Hopefully, now that the Sox are in Baltimore, the Sox can wake up and build off the 13 inning marathon win(obscured by the death of the Pistons). They have our undivided attention. At least until Thursday night, right?

Five games in...

2008-05-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

...and we still know NOTHING about who the eventual champions of the Eastern Conference will be. As I feared, this series is doomed to go 7 games. My original thought was that the Celtics would win all their home games, and the Pistons would win all their road games. That hasn't happened, but the Celtics are yet again going into a Game Six up 3-2. And just as before, I have little or no confidence that they will win. Even thought they did win a road game - finally - they Pistons just refuse to go away. With the exception of Game Three, none of the Celtics wins have been anything close to comfortable. And the kicker is, if the Celtics do advance, they'll be facing an even tougher opponent.

Many moons ago, ESPN columnist Bill Simmons referred to the Ranger's 1994 Stanley Cup Championship year as being as painful as childbirth. He also predicted that should the Red Sox ever win the World Series, the games would be just as long, drawn out and dramatic. Aside from the excruciating ALCS, he was wrong.

Maybe he really should have been talking about the Celtics instead. Watching these games has been torturous. I'm glad the C's are in the picture, but I'm not sure I can survive another Game Seven.

Can't say it better myself

2008-05-21T05:38:00.000-07:00

Awesome summation here of why Bostonsportsmedia.com is one of my favorite websites.

The longest road...

2008-05-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

Whether you think the Celtics can beat the Pistons, or you think they're screwed due to their utter inability to win on the road, one thing is almost certain.

This series is going 7 games whether we like it or not.

God help us all.

Somebody Break Their Keyboards Part IV: The Quickening

2008-05-15T07:20:00.001-07:00

Including my own irritable rant yesterday, there's been a lot of venom spewed on blogs and message boards all across the internet. But there's a new enemy of all that is decent and reasonable: the comments section.

Yes, whenever someone writes an online column or blog entry, there's usually a few people (unless it's MY blog for some reason) willing to add a comment or two. Sometimes , the comments are useful and intelligent (again, my blog). Most of the time, they're completely insane.

The worst offenders are ESPN and You Tube. I dare you find a single comment section on You Tube that does not include a F bomb, an ad hominem attack, or a misspelled word. ESPN is just as bad, except the spelling is marginally better. The comments on Spygate have been particularly insane, leading directly to my latest rant. Honestly, are there really that many stupid, illiterate, and hostile people in this country?

Yes, yes there are. And lest you think this is mostly an attack on people outside of New England (ie, the Pats haters I went off on yesterday), there are just as many tools in the Northeast. Check out the comment section on the Boston Herald. In any political discussion, you'll find a bunch of people who best exemplify the lowest common denominator that infests WEEI and WRKO: nitwits who think they're Howie Carr. I already went off on Howie for his repetitive column. I could have just as easily gone off on him for producing a seemingly endless array of whiny, racist, homophobic, misogynistic paltroons who infest the Boston Herald website and make the comment section unintentionally hysterical. I don't know if they're mocking Howie or agreeing with him, but they come across as morons.

Sadly, I can also say the same thing about my favorite sports site on the internet: the Boston Sports Media Watch. I enjoy the columns and blog entries on this site immensely because they share my view of WEEI, the Globe, Herald, and NESN. What I do find distressing is the amount of idiocy that makes it's way on that website anyways. It's particularly sad to see any article about a female reporter degenerate into a discussion about T & A, which is exactly the type of frat boy nonsense the website seems to be against.

The comments section in any website are basically anonymous, giving someone the opportunity to spew whatever idiocy they feel like. I don't think it adds much to any discussion, and thus I would like to clone Charlie Chaplin about 10 million times and have him destroy the computers of anyone who choses to use a comment section as a way of displaying what kind of a pathetic human being they really are.

Wasted time

2008-05-14T09:18:00.000-07:00

I'd like to thank Matt Walsh, Arlen Spector and ESPN for wasting EVERYONE'S time with their inability to let go of the Spygate thing. The Patriots got caught taping signals, were summarily punished and for some reason, that wasn't enough for anyone. No, for some reason, the anti-Patriot contingent on the ESPN comments sections had to get their way, and the media - feeding this extreme form of lunacy, gave them ammunition by producing ex-Patriots "scout" Matt Walsh who claimed to have tapes of the Pats doing naughty things. Well he did, but they all seemed to be tapes from 2001-2002 where this practice was - if not accepted - then at the very least not widely enforced. So basically, we had to sit though 9 months of this "conspiracy" theory nonsense to get a payoff of ...

drum roll please...

absolutely NOTHING.

Do you mean to tell me that in the past 9 months, nothing in the sports world or even the world outside of sports (cue Mr Spector) has happened that would be considered more important that whether or the Patriot were taping signals? Honestly? And is taping signals even cheating when you consider that hiring a guy to sit in the binoculars and basically do the same thing is somehow perfectly legal? Really? Can anyone really explain to me the difference?

One would think - logically - that a chain of events where the Patriots "cheated" (kind of) were caught, punished and lost the Super Bowl would be enough for a rational, intelligent populace. But no, now we have people who want forfeits and astericks. What really needs to happen is the American public needs to come to terms with their immature concept of revenge and perhaps elect a Pennsylvania senator with some sense of perspective - one that doesn't hold congressional hearings on steriods in Major League Baseball or waste everyone's time by having a public temper tantrum based on hearsay and events that happened in September.

"Gee, the economy is in the tank, we're stuck in a horrific situation in the middle east, people are getting evicted left and right and the oil companies are soaking us for billions. I know, let's distract people by holding a pity party over the Eagles losing the Super Bowl."

Unbelievable. Oh wait, W is our president. American Idol. The continued existence of MTV. This is now completely believable.

End of rant.